Life Under the Sun
by VampireNaomi
Summary: Gilbert doesn't like the Italian countryside. He doesn't like his new employer. He doesn't even like his life. But maybe all of that can change. Prumano slice of life. Written by Christ on a cracker. Translated by VampireNaomi.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is not mine!** It was originally written by **Christ on a cracker** in German. I have her permission to translate the story and post it here because she has no account on this site. If you want to talk to her about the fic, her username on Tumblr is **sogirra, **but you can also post reviews here. She understands English perfectly.

**LIFE UNDER THE SUN**

**Chapter 1**

Forty minutes.

Gilbert's temple was starting to hurt, but he kept pressing it against the car window, ignoring the distant words of his brother and his boyfriend on the front seat and stared dumbly outside.

It was forty minutes since he had last seen a house. Ever since then, wilderness. Thin tracks of crunching pebble represented the road that slithered among the hills, surrounded by tall grass; brown and green, like everything here. Small trees marred by the wind stood on the fields; every now and then there were crumbled ruins of old places, the remains of a wooden fence taken over by wild grapes and ivy. It was pretty. Maybe. Gilbert couldn't really say. Maybe it would have been pretty in a picture in a travel brochure. As a background in a movie. But like this? An eternity seemed to pass, and the scenery didn't change at all. Tree, field, hill, sun, sun, sun. Clear sky. Only a few shrouds of cloud – pitifully thin – floated in the middle of the sky. Alone and lonely. Like Gilbert.

He already missed the city.

"Hey, Gilbert! Gilbert!"

Torn from his thoughts, he jerked.

"Yeah, Feli?" A fake grin on his face, as usual. He had never been good at showing his real emotions. He was Gilbert Beilschmidt. Always happy, always loud, always self-confident and strong and pleased with himself and the world. A façade that was beginning to crumble now that he was being shoved to the Italian countryside. But nobody noticed the shaky smile. Feliciano was beaming at him, Ludwig's eyes were glued to the road, and Gilbert was grinning like he couldn't be happier.

"We're almost there!" Feliciano informed him, almost jumping up and down on his seat in excitement. "Isn't it wonderful here? I'm so happy that fratello is finally getting company – but don't take him too seriously, he can be really grumpy, but he actually has a really good heart," he blabbered merrily.

Gilbert stared absently at the stubborn curl that stood on Feliciano's head and bobbed up and down in rhythm with his rambling. The words glided past him, like snowflakes in the wind. He didn't care who this Lovino Vargas was. He wasn't Ludwig or Feli or Francis or Antonio. Or Elizabetha. He wasn't his cousin Vash or the cute little Lilli or even that punk Arthur. He was none of the people who claimed to like him, that they only wanted the best for him, but didn't want him. He was just an employer. And Gilbert – Gilbert was just a jack of all trades. Not a brother, not a friend, not a cousin, not a drinking buddy. Not a lover.

"There! It's over there!" Feliciano sang, now glued to the wind shield and louder than Ludwig's tirade about the spots he was leaving there. Gilbert turned his head in disinterest to get the first look at his new home.

There stood an old, crumbling house. In the middle of green, half covered in wild grapes and climbing roses. A brown brick roof and walls that probably used to be white but now carried a yellowish colour. An uneven step led to the porch that housed a few garden chairs that didn't match and a wooden table. Fruit trees were growing around the house. Cherries, olives, pomegranates, lemons, oranges, figs… Gilbert turned his attention back to the house. Everything about it was old and broken. He could see from here that the roof was leaky, a window broken, the colours on the front door and windowsills peeling off. He would have thought the house was abandoned if it hadn't been for the baskets full of fresh fruit that were standing under the trees.

The stones crunched under the wheels as the car stopped at the yard. A second later, Feliciano had opened the door and jumped outside, a wide grin on his face and wagging his arms. Ludwig turned to Gilbert while Feliciano called for his brother. His face was serious, as always, a little concerned, as always, a little apologetic. Not as always.

"Are you sure you'll make it?" he asked.

Gilbert waved him away and let out a cackle.

"It's cute that you're always so worried about me, but I'm the older brother here, remember? Besides, I can make it through anything! I should be asking you if you'll make it completely without my fantastic presence in your house. Feliciano is cute, sure, but not much of a beer drinker."

Ludwig let out a loud breath, as if it was a tiresome task. Half of a repressed sigh. Then he nodded briefly and got out of the car as well. Gilbert stayed behind alone. He didn't want to get out. That would have been a definite arrival. No return. Abandoned in the Italian countryside where he didn't know anyone, miles away from the nearest city. What the hell – miles away from the closest village. Until today he hadn't known there were people who lived like that. Voluntarily.

"Are you coming?" came Ludwig's voice through the half-opened window. Gilbert jerked. He couldn't show any weaknesses. Not after the months during which he had given Feli and Ludwig his complete support regarding their life together, even when it meant that he had to find his own apartment and his own job. It was pathetic enough that the only apartment and only job he could find was a half-crumbled house in southern Italy and that his new employer was Feliciano's brother.

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

Holding back a sigh, he opened the door and stepped out as well. Ludwig was waiting for him at the stairs with his suitcase in hand. Somewhere in the background, Feliciano was still tirelessly calling out for his brother. Gilbert closed the car door behind him and followed Ludwig to the porch where they remained standing and looked around in silence. Gilbert couldn't get rid of the feeling that he didn't belong here. He had spent his entire life in the city. Parties, noise, change every day. This here was the complete opposite of that.

"Stop screaming!" called out an angry voice between two orange trees, and Gilbert turned his eyes away from a fat caterpillar that was eating its way through the ivy above the door in order to get a look at his new employer.

There was a rustle between the trees behind which the sound had come from. Then a basket full of oranges broke through the thickness, held by a pair of thin, tanned arms. Gilbert had to hold back a whistle as the rest of the man stumbled out of the scrub.

Lovino Vargas looked… shockingly young. And way too good to keep himself hidden here in the countryside, Gilbert thought. His hair was a little darker than Feliciano's, but otherwise their relation was unmistakeable. He even had the same unruly curl, even if his was sticking out of the forehead. His skin was much more tanned, no wonder when he worked daily in the garden, under the sun and with his chest bare. To sum it up, he looked like the perfect Italian – except for one thing. The look on his face was angry and irritated instead of hospitable and friendly. His brows were crunched together so that there was a deep furrow on his forehead. Lovino Vargas was obviously no friendly man.

"Are you the potato eater I have to look after from now on?" he growled at Gilbert as soon as he came to stand before him and had placed his basket down. Gilbert shot a questioning glance at his brother, but he only pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to stop Feliciano from running over his brother.

"Uh, my name's Gilbert, not potato eater. And I'm going to work here."

This snobbish asshole! Gilbert wasn't going to stand for this. After all, he wasn't exactly happy about being abandoned here. But Lovino Vargas only let out a snide "Che!", took his basket and went past him into the house. Gilbert exchanged a helpless look with Ludwig before following the Italian. Feliciano rambled something about how Lovino didn't mean it like that, but Gilbert wasn't listening. He was enjoying the coolness of the inside of the house on his skin. The strong sun was new to him, and Gilbert's pale skin didn't go very well with it.

"Your room is the third door to the left," called Lovino out over his shoulder as he stepped into the kitchen through a doorless entrance and placed the basket on the table. "Do whatever you want with it. In general, do whatever you want, just don't bother me while I work." With that, he was gone from sight, and Gilbert was left standing next to his brother, pouting arrogantly and feeling completely lost.

"So… Unfortunately we have to go if we don't want to drive on these dangerous roads in the dark," Ludwig said one hour later. He and Feliciano had helped Gilbert to unpack his suitcase and to put everything in the ancient wooden cabinet that stood in his room. Lovino hadn't shown himself even once. He wasn't in the kitchen anymore either – it appeared he had once again disappeared into his garden. Gilbert had no problems with that. The less he had to see of this crotchety snob, the better.

"Are you sure you'll make it?"

"I already told you not to worry!" Gilbert repeated with a mechanical voice. Thankfully the awkward moment was interrupted when Feliciano jumped on him to hug him. His blabbered goodbyes filled the room. Ludwig placed a hand on Gilbert's shoulder to squeeze it encouragingly. The brothers shared the inability to show emotion, even if it was in completely different ways.

And before Gilbert had even blinked – or at least it seemed that way – he was standing alone in his room.

With a loud sigh, he lay back on his bed. He had no idea what to do now. Had he been in town, he would have called Francis or Antonio or Arthur and they would have gone off together to cause a ruckus in the clubs. Maybe he would have called Elizabetha and flirted with her until it became too stupid for her. And if nobody had time for him, he would drive to Roderich's place to annoy him with pranks. But who could he play a prank on in here?

His laptop was on the small table by the bed, and he grabbed it out of habit. Maybe he'd just update his blog and then surf online for the rest of the evening. It was a good way to kill some time.

Three minutes later, he snapped the lid of his laptop angrily shut. He hadn't found a single WiFi signal. Sure, it was obvious there was no Internet here. What had he been expecting? When fate wanted to send him to hell, it apparently took the matter seriously. He looked around in the room. Cabinet, bed, nightstand, desk, that's it. No TV. Not even a book. He had nothing to kill time with. He would have to spend the rest of his life here, playing Minesweeper on his laptop. Brilliant!

Full of frustration and anger at everything and everyone, he curled up on his bed and closed his eyes. Maybe he'd just go to sleep and never wake up. The world would see what they could do without him. Because no matter what, he was convinced that he was just as great as he always claimed he was. He just coped with the ignorance of others a lot worse than he pretended to. After all, he had raised his little brother all alone, even though he had almost been a child himself. Otherwise, maybe he would have gone to university as well, would have studied and got a cool job later. Ludwig was the only one who understood that. He knew that he owed Gilbert. That he had to let him live with him and had to take care of him, just like how Gilbert had done with him. But Gilbert hadn't factored in that his little brother would fall in love. And after all those years, he had also deserved his wonderful life with his perfect Italian lover, with whom he could share a home. Who was Gilbert to stand in the way? No – Gilbert was a good big brother who knew when his time was up. He would do everything for Ludwig. He would move to the Italian countryside where there was no Internet and no fun and no friends, just a grouchy young man and a heap of fruit trees. He would do anything for Ludwig. But that didn't mean he couldn't curl up on the bed and sulk about it.

After a while there was a knock on the door. Nobody opened it when Gilbert grumbled a tired "Yes?" and tore himself up from the bed, muttering to himself – his hair was standing up on one side – and went to open the door.

There was only a plate with cannelloni, but his expression brightened. He hadn't noticed how hungry he was. And after the cold greeting, he hadn't been expecting that Lovino would actually cook for him. It seemed he wasn't entirely immune to Italian hospitality after all.

Since he didn't want to eat trapped inside his room as if he were a teenager who was grounded, he took the plate and went out to the porch. The sun was in the process of sinking below the horizon, which had made the temperature outside pleasant. Lovino was sitting in an ancient garden chair and balancing a plate in his lap. Gilbert decided to sit down by his side in silence even though the second chair looked like it would give his butt splinters.

"Whoa!" Gilbert said after taking the first bite – even though he had been planning to say nothing. "You're as funny as a dead clown, but you know how to cook."

Lovino snorted. He cleared his throat. He snorted again. "Don't try to flatter me, potato eater! I only agreed to take you here because my brother and Antonio talked me into it. Anything is better than to oppose those two, especially if they've joined forces."

Gilbert let out a neutral sound and ate his cannelloni without trying to get into a fight. It would have been stupid. The dinner had improved his mood a little, and he wasn't going to let it plummet down again just because of this grouchy Italian.

"Don't you have Internet here?" he asked after a while. As feared, Lovino shook his head.

"Absolutely not. That devil's work is a total waste of time and keeps you away from life."

Life? Gilbert almost swallowed his fork. Lovino was describing this deserted, isolated vegetation as life? That was ridiculous! The city was life! There was no night and no loneliness. Light, music, movement, adventures, sex, fun. What was there here? You couldn't have a party with a few fruit trees.

"All that I need is peace," said Lovino after Gilbert had presented his argument. "And you can't find it in a city."

For a few minutes, they kept eating in silence. Gilbert observed the wild grapes that slithered along the wall and swayed slightly in the wind. It was true – it was wonderful here. The air, the clear sky, the greenery. But what was so great about it when you couldn't share it with anyone?

"Are you lonely?" he asked as he scratched his fork on the empty place with hopes of catching the last drops of tomato sauce.

"Lonely?" Lovino snorted, placed his plate on the floor and looked at Gilbert as if he had asked a particularly ridiculous question. "I never feel lonelier than when I'm surrounded by people. Everyone has something better to do than worry about me. Every relationship between people only scratches at the surface. Sex without feelings is the norm. Out here… At least I can't be ignored here."

"You can't be noticed here either," Gilbert argued.

"I see myself in a much clearer light. At least I can hear my own thoughts."

Gilbert leaned back on his chair, deep in thought. This way of thinking was completely unfamiliar to him. But he could understand Lovino's argument – he would have had to be blind not to understand it since he was in the same situation. He knew so many people, but in the end nobody had offered to take him in. And now he was here, alone, out of the way.

"What about you?" Lovino asked. His expression had relaxed in the course of the conversation and now it was clearly visible how handsome he was. "Are you lonely?"

Gilbert actually wanted to say no, but something in the sincere, brown eyes pulled the words out of his mouth like magic.

"Until lately I would have totally said no," he said and felt the rise of the unfamiliar feeling that always made itself known when he was talking about something he would have rather kept to himself. Or when he admitted something about himself. "I've always been loud, have always imposed on others, have annoyed everyone with my pranks, only to make myself noticeable. Doesn't seem like it worked." He let out a hoarse laugh.

"Hm…" At least Lovino's eyes weren't filled with pity or regret. He pulled himself up from his chair, gathered the empty plates and turned around to go to the kitchen. "Welcome to my world," he said before stepping through the door. Gilbert wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean. Should he take it so that Lovino understood him, or maybe he should take it literally? But one thing was absolutely clear; Lovino and he were on their way to becoming friends.

It wasn't often that he spilled out his soul on the very first day of getting to know someone. And he was very sure that it wasn't often that Lovino Vargas smiled at someone on the first day of meeting him.

He had tried so hard to hide it. But Gilbert had nevertheless caught a glimpse of the corner of his mouth before Lovino entered the kitchen in order to place the two dirty plates into the sink.


	2. Chapter 2

**LIFE UNDER THE SUN**

**Chapter 2**

The next day, Gilbert did indeed get up early. An unbelievable fact – he was sure that he hadn't got up until noon in at least five years. But today the sun was shining with all its might through his window and warming up his room until he couldn't stand it. And so Gilbert rolled off his bed, staggered to his cabinet and took out a random handful of clothes – a black shirt and white boxers. Well, at least the colours didn't clash.

He made a short visit to the bathroom to take a shower before stumbling to the kitchen. Lovino was already out in the garden, but he had left Gilbert a bowl with fresh fruit as breakfast and a letter with directions to the brooms closet. Gilbert ignored the fruit and attempted to find something unhealthy, but a ten-minute search in the cupboards brought no satisfactory result. Lovino had neither chocolate cornflakes nor toast nor sweet rolls. So, he had to be happy with the fruit. At least the first orange that he ate was wonderfully juicy and sweet, and he immediately ate another one. To his surprise, it was just as good as the first. They were followed by a fig and a pomegranate, after which focused on the grapes and apricots. It was unbelievable. He had no idea fruit could taste so good. At home he had hadn't had any fruit except in an apple pie because the apples in the supermarket were insipid and tasted of nothing, just like the strawberries and apricots and all others. But here, fresh from a tree, matured in sunlight, they tasted so good that Gilbert lost the track of time as the crammed everything inside himself.

At some point, Lovino came to the kitchen with a basket full of white grapes and threw an outraged glare at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Having breakfast!" Gilbert declared through a mouthful of apricots and spat a few unchewed bits into Lovino's direction. "Sorry, I just couldn't stop eating. Your fruit are awesome!"

"It's one o'clock in the afternoon! What am I paying you for?" Lovino asked, placing the basket on the table. Gilbert's comment about his fruit seemed to have soothed his anger, but he would probably have to hurry now.

"Sorry," he said. "I lost the track of time." He stood up quickly, collected all the cores and peels and threw them into the compost. Lovino had sat down on Gilbert's seat and was watching in mild interest as Gilbert scurried in his kitchen before grabbing the letter and dashing out.

"It's left! Idiot!" Lovino yelled after him as Gilbert chose the wrong direction after one short look at the letter. Gilbert turned around on his heels and followed Lovino's instructions to the brooms closet in silence, eventually finding a mess of never before used cleaning materials, a plastic bucket and a rag. What did this guy think? That the house would clean itself if he just bought the necessary tools?

Thankfully, Gilbert was indeed a good clear, even if one would never guess based on his own room. He liked the fresh scent, the focus it needed and the feeling of having accomplished something. In a house like Lovino's it was twice as much fun because he could really see that he had cleaned something. In Ludwig's apartment it was completely different, which was why Gilbert had made it his job to make everything as dirty as he could. He couldn't just let his little brother mop spotless floors – that brought no satisfaction. Now Ludwig had a lovely, small Italian who would take over the job of making a mess. The two of them looked so funny when they were in the kitchen together. Feliciano scurried around and cooked, Ludwig followed with a rag in hand. Somehow, it was so adorable, even if Gilbert always felt like an outsider.

But now he was the organized German with his own mess-making Italian. And since he had nothing better to do anyway, he threw himself straight into cleaning.

And when he said that he was here to work, he really meant it. The next few weeks he was in his room only to sleep – and to clean it. While Lovino ploughed away in the garden every day, Gilbert swept the surfaces, polished vases, made beds, sorted out items, washed, organized, dusted, wiped and vacuumed until the house was shining. Every evening, Lovino cooked a typical Italian dinner and the two of them sat outside on the porch, sometimes in silence and sometimes talking, and enjoyed the slowly approaching coolness of the evening. When Gilbert had nothing more to clean, he asked Lovino if he could join him on the next trip to the village and buy some construction materials. And that was how he found himself sitting by the Italian's side in an ancient, green car that was supposed to take them to the village.

"That's the sea!" Gilbert exclaimed after they had reached the village and saw the view of endless blue. "I had no idea we live by the sea!"

"Did you look at all into where you're moving to?" Lovino grumbled, but Gilbert ignored him. He was busy wrenching open the car door and running over the stony cliffs to the water. The foam hit him in the face, and he laughed out loud.

"I've never been to the sea," he admitted to Lovino who had followed him and was watching him play with the waves like a little kid. "When I was small, my family once travelled to the North Sea, but I got sick and had to say with Grandma Ulrike who only cooked Brussels sprouts and wanted to teach me to knit."

Lovino let out a snorting laugh and sat down on a stone. "If you ever want to swim, I know a small bay where there's nobody," he said after Gilbert had been watching him for a while. "I mean, only if you want to..."

"You have to ask?" Gilbert cackled and splashed water on him. The discovery that he lived near the sea had made him so happy for some reason. The Italian countryside was hell. But the Italian countryside right next to the sea was a dream. Finally he had something to do other than his work. Summer, the sun, sand... who wouldn't want to live like that?

"Stop acting like a little kid!" Lovino scolded him, even if he couldn't quite hide his amusement. "First work, then enjoyment!"

"Yeah, yeah, boss!"

With a heavy heart, Gilbert picked up his flip-flops and followed Lovino back over the cliffs to the outskirts of the village. It was a very small village with pretty stone houses. Tiled roofs and a small castle, covered in vegetation, in the middle. Since the area was very hilly, it was possible to see the whole village from the shore. Lovino led them to a store where Gilbert spent a solid hour collecting different construction materials and bringing them back to the car with the help of an overjoyed sales clerk.

"I don't believe it..." Lovino muttered as they were heaving a few buckets of paint onto the car. As Gilbert turned to look at him questioningly, he saw that he was being stared at.

"What?" he asked in confusion while Lovino just kept frowning.

"You've got a sunburn. You were outside for a few minutes and you've got a sunburn on your face. What the hell?"

"Ah – I've got a really sensitive skin..." Gilbert swallowed when Lovino reached out to stroke his nose where the sunburn always showed first. It was strange to be stared at by him. Worry was usually not part of the cocktail of emotions that was showing on his face.

"That can be dangerous. Do you have good sunblock?"

Gilbert just shook his head, and Lovino sighed, as if he hadn't been expecting anything else. "Stay here!" he said. "I'll be right back." With that, he turned on his heels and disappeared into one of the many alleys. Gilbert stayed back to lift the purchases onto the car and was finished just when Lovino stepped by his side again and showed him a tube of sunblock.

"60+?" Gilbert laughed. "You're acting like I'm going to crumble into a pile of ash any moment!"

"I left you alone for two minutes and the sunburn is already twice as bad," Lovino threw back and pressed the tube into his hands. "Alright, put it on!"

"Sure, boss!"

Gilbert watched Lovino once again try to hide a smile as he went to the car and sat down on the driver's seat.

"You like it when I call you boss, don't you?" he asked and hopped into the car as well. Lovino advised him to keep his mouth shut. "Okay. Boss."

Lovino replied with an irritated groan and started the engine, which really made Gilbert shut up because his boss was driving the car in a way that could mean death if he was distracted even for a second. It was a wonder this suicidal idiot had lived so long without driving off a cliff. But even though Gilbert was already seeing his life flash before his eyes and was making himself ready to say goodbye to the world, they arrived safely at their small house and could get ready to unpack the purchases and store them in the basement.

"Alright. Build whatever you want in the house – I'll retreat to the garden. The birds have already torn holes into the net around the cherry tree..." Lovino grumbled, already on his way. Gilbert took a look around and tried to decide what he wanted to fix first. His decision fell on the roof because it clearly needed a lot of work and was also the most urgent. It had not rained during the past few weeks, but thunder storms were not uncommon in the south in the summer. So, he grabbed a ladder from the basement, picked up the replacement tiles he had bought and some mortar and was off to work.

The hours flew by as he sweated on the roof. He had tossed his shirt down into the garden a long time ago, but it made no big difference. Nevertheless, he didn't stop until he heard Lovino call out to him. He slid down the ladder and wandered into the kitchen where the voice had come from.

"Dinner is ready," Lovino said and shoved a plate of delicious-looking ravioli into his hand. The smell alone was enough to make Gilbert's mouth water. But he couldn't go straight to eating because he had barely turned around to take the plate to the porch when Lovino hit him over the back of his head.

"Are you crazy?" he swore. Gilbert had to ask himself what he had done this time. "What did you do?"

"I'd like to know that, too," Gilbert said.

"Where were you the whole day?"

"On the roof. Fixing the tiles."

"Did you put sunblock on?"

"Of course!"

"On your back, too?"

"Oh..." No, he hadn't. After all, he had a shirt on. But sadly he had tossed it away when it had got too hat. Damn...

"It looks terrible!" Lovino scolded him. "Like a cancer. Do you even know how unhealthy that is? You could get really sick! Wait, I'll get the salve –"

"Hey now, don't wet yourself!" Gilbert interrupted him and pointed at the plate in his hands. "I'm hungry. First we eat, then we can play doctor with my back as much as you want."

Lovino followed him out of the kitchen, shaking his head. It was still hot outside – Gilbert began to sweat once more as he took the first step out to the porch. Ignoring Lovino's "At least put something on!" he took a seat at the table and began to shovel ravioli into his mouth. "Don't try to keep me from eating! I've worked so hard today. Do you want me to get even thinner?" he blabbered. Lovino only threw a few burning glares at him.

"You've got a funny body. Way too thin no matter how much you eat, burns after three minutes in the sun... But it's no wonder if you've lived on potatoes and sausage all your life and never got any vitamins."

"Hey! You aren't exactly a colossus either!" Gilbert said angrily. "Besides, I've got way more muscles!" He looked down at his stomach that was indeed a bit more in shape again after he had started working here. It was a far cry from Ludwig, but at least the attempt of body building was running in the family.

"Hmhm," Lovino snorted and quickly moved his eyes from Gilbert's stomach when he looked up again.

"And you've burned yourself, too!"

"What? That's not true..."

"Sure, in the face! You're totally red!"

Indeed, a shade of red was developing on Lovino's usually perfectly tanned face. "Uh, can be!" Lovino said dismissively, even as the colour was spreading. He quickly lowered his head to shovel his food into his mouth without sparing another look at Gilbert who was being distracted by another problem. His back was slowly being taken over by a burning sensation that kept growing stronger until he couldn't take it anymore and twisted his face in pain.

"What?" Lovino asked in an aggressive tone. He probably thought Gilbert didn't like his food.

"Ow, ow, ow!"

"You're such an idiot!" A groan, and then the legs of the chair scratched against the floor as Lovino stood up. "Come on!" He went through the kitchen, pointing at the couch on the way – a silent order that Gilbert should lie down on it – and disappeared into the bathroom to rummage through the first aid kit. A few moments later he returned, a blue tube in hand. Gilbert was already on his stomach on the couch and busy with further "owwww!"s.

"It's your own fault, so stop acting like a little girl!"

Gilbert grew quiet as the contents of the tube were emptied on his back, followed by Lovino's hands that began to spread the soothing liquid and rub his skin. The touches were light as a feather but endlessly pleasant – especially when combined with the calming effect.

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of soft hands on his skin. Lovino would definitely be a good massagist, he thought. He wasn't using any pressure now, but the way his slow movements directed the salve exactly to the right places spoke for itself. He could feel his breathing stop momentarily as Lovino's hands wandered too far down on his back – one of the most sensitive spots on his body. Maybe he should say something. After all, the Italian probably wouldn't be happy to give him even more pleasure than he was planning. But at the same time, it felt so good... Gilbert decided to keep his mouth shut and enjoy it with a slightly guilty conscience. Lovino's hands travelled even further down to his hips where his fingers drew slow circles on his hip bone. Gilbert felt a sigh grow his throat, but it was too late to hold it back. A long "hmmmmmm!" escaped him as Lovino's thumbs dug into the dimple below the circle. A moment later, the hands were gone and Gilbert was looking around in shock.

"Uh..." Lovino said, clearing his throat. "Okay, done!" His face was once again red, and Gilbert could feel the same happen to him.

"Hey!" he objected and tried to find a suitable subject to cover up the awkward situation. "Have I already told you about my girlfriend?"

For a moment, Lovino looked stunned, and Gilbert wondered if he had acted rashly to describe Elizabetha as his girlfriend. Fine, something had been developing between them lately, but now he was here in the countryside and she back in the city. Who knew what that would lead to.

"Why do you think I care?" Lovino grumbled and squirted some salve on his hand to spread it on Gilbert's face.

"You don't have to care, but it's the responsibility of every man to inform their friends of their girlfriend, right?"

Lovino's thumbs lingered on Gilbert's cheek as they stared each other into the eyes and had a silent conversation. One that only consisted of exchanging glances, deep brown and red, questioning, evaluative. A silent agreement about what they were and could become. Then Lovino drew his hand away, put the cork back on the tube and snorted.

"Whatever you say."

"What about you? Don't you have a girlfriend, huh?"

Lovino grew red once again, and Gilbert took the tube from him with a grin in order to rub a bit of salve over the other's nose. The angry glare he received for that was shockingly adorable. Gilbert could feel his toes tingle. For a moment he wondered if he had directed the conversation towards the wrong end. Then Lovino pushed his hand away and went sulkily into the kitchen to wash his hands. Gilbert followed him, whistling a tune that he knew would earn him even more angry glares and felt overjoyed when that indeed happened.

Lovino could be a very entertaining flatmate. One just had to get used to him first.

"Adamo is coming tomorrow to pick up the fruit. Make sure you're up in time to help him. Then you don't have to work for the rest of the day," Lovino said as he stepped out of the kitchen to pick up the plates.

"The whole day? Just because of that? Since when are you so generous?" Gilbert called out after him.

"You can't work with that back anyway! And you wanted to drive to the sea, right?"

"What? Really? Oh, man, you're the best!" Gilbert performed a small dance of joy that Lovino observed with lifted eyebrows as he entered the kitchen again and caught the last moves. "Don't look at me like that! I'm happy!" Gilbert said with a grin, and Lovino turned his eyes away.

"Like a little kid..." he muttered. This time Gilbert didn't see his smile. But he could hear it.


	3. Chapter 3

I apologize in advance for the bad translation of the puns Gilbert Geilschmidt and Geilbert Beilschmidt in this chapter. They're so funny in German, but I just can't figure out how to make them equally good in English.

**LIFE UNDER THE SUN**

**Chapter 3**

The next morning was promising to be especially hot, but apparently that wasn't a reason for Italians to delay their work since Adamo's old car stood before the small house exactly at eight and was honking in a way that forced one to hurry.

"Hey, lady!" he greeted Gilbert when he stumbled out of the house with a tired look, hair standing up and with a basket of cherries in his arms.

Gilbert shoved the basket at him and watched in satisfaction how the loud-mouthed Italian almost fell over.

"Don't be so sulky, lady," Adamo laughed and waddled to place the basket into his car. Lovino shot a questioning look at Gilbert when he stomped angrily past him to get the next baskets and boxes.

"Why does he call you that?" he asked. A bad idea because now Gilbert's anger was suddenly directed at him.

"Because of you, you dumbass!"

Lovino made an unimpressed face.

"He thinks you should have brought 'a lady' to this place a long time ago, so that you wouldn't always be so stressed out. And now he thinks I'm the substitute for that. Stupid macho Italians… I don't look like a woman…" Gilbert muttered as he was leaving. Lovino just rolled his eyes and kept packing the fruits.

"Go and put some sunblock on," he said half an hour later when all the boxes were in the car. "I have to take care of business."

Adamo winked at him. "If you want, I could do your back, darling." And Gilbert snapped. Eyes gleaming dangerously, he marched to Adamo, placed himself before him and grinned. Then, before the Italian could jerk back, he had already lifted him over his shoulders, caught the fidgeting legs and carried him over to the well that stood in the middle of the yard, unused and covered in weeds. Gilbert placed the smaller Italian on his feet, lifted the rotten wooden lid with one hand and let him dangle head first in the well whose bottom lurked in endless darkness. Adamo screamed like a little girl.

"Now who's a lady?" Gilbert cackled. Lovino stood aside and was trying to hide a smile without much success.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Adamo replied.

"I can't hear you!"

"I AM! I AM A LITTLE GIRL AND YOU'RE THE MANLIEST MAN IN THE WORLD!" Adamo screamed, creating an echo in the well and a pleased grin on Gilbert's face as he pulled him back up on his feet.

"Good that we got that cleared up," he said and kept supporting him – his legs had turned into jello and judging by his face, he had to work through a deep-seated scare.

"Good God!" he said a few minutes later when his breathing was working normally again. "Is bad that I was somehow turned on?"

Gilbert ruffled his hair good-heartedly.

"No, I guess nobody can blame you for that. I'm just awesome."

Lovino rolled his eyes again. "Do you want to have a room first, or can we finally talk business?" he grumbled.

Adamo only grinned. "Now you just have to convince him that you aren't his lady," he said to Gilbert with a wink. "He's acting so jealous!"

"If anything, he's my lady!" Gilbert threw back. Unlike Adamo, he could dodge the two oranges that were immediately sent flying to their direction.

"I'll make you both into ladies!" Lovino raged and Gilbert decided it might be for the best if he retreated into the house to cover himself in sunblock. He winked at Adamo as a goodbye, jogged into the house, rummaged around in the bathroom for the lotion and waited patiently until Lovino was done discussing business and could spread it on his back. He still looked calculating and angry as he came back into the house and took the tube Gilbert offered him, not saying anything.

"Ouch! Hey! You were gentler yesterday!" Gilbert protested as Lovino started to spread the lotion on his back in a hurry.

"Oh? Is this too rough for the lady? I'm sorry!" Lovino muttered and received a grumble that he didn't react to. Instead, he made sure that there was a thick, smeary layer of lotion covering Gilbert's back. He was still red as a crab and the skin was slowly starting to peel off. Gilbert just winked as Lovino pointed this out. When one had such pale skin as his, one was used to looking like a self-peeling tomato every now and then. It was no end of the world for him.

"Okay, then have fun with the tumors that you're certainly going to get," Lovino growled, put the cork back on the tube and nodded towards his room. "Gather up everything you need and get in the car. I'll take care of the food."

And that's how Gilbert spent the next half an hour searching the basement for air mattresses and beach balls without any success while Lovino stood in the kitchen and prepared lunch. A meaningful look was all that Gilbert received after the trouble of loading the car so full that it looked like they were going to the beach with an entire kindergarten. Lovino tossed his bag on top of the pile of parasols and towels before climbing to the driver's seat, next to which Gilbert was already sitting with an expectant grin on his face. The ancient engine awoke with a growl and they were off along a thin track that slithered through orange groves, rocky hills and a wild, brownish green field before Gilbert could make out the refreshing, deep blue of the sea behind the cliffs. The cliffs rolled by – it was clear that this was no beach for tourists and that one had to know one's way around to find a walkable piece of shore. But Lovino had spent half of his life here and knew exactly where to go. And so there was soon sand crunching under the tires of the car as Lovino took a turn, and the most beautiful bay that Gilbert had ever seen became visible.

Gilbert stepped out of the car in stunned silence. The sea was splashing in calm waves over the hot sand before retreating and starting a new onset of foam. Small shells were peeking out of the sand everywhere and were being washed over by the water and pulled into the sea. Everything was moving, and time was standing still at the same time. A seagull had built its nest somewhere between the cliffs that surrounded the bay from right and left and screamed a warning to the intruders. The water glittered in different colours; there were clear borders between the almost transparent blue, the dark green and the deep blue of the broad sea. Gilbert could summarise it in only one sentence that didn't do justice to the view.

"It's beautiful…"

"Could be, but don't tell anyone about it. This is my bay. This is where I retreat when even my house isn't far away enough from the rest of the world," Lovino grumbled. He fought with the rusty shutter of the car's back to get the parasols. Gilbert was oddly touched by the fact that Lovino thought to share this place with him. Sometimes he wasn't sure if his boss even tolerated him, and then there were moments like these… He walked over the sand in thought, using his toes to examine a few pretty shells that were partly hidden and watched how the water washed away his fresh footprints, as if it was picking them up and taking them with it. Lovino complained about how he should help at least a little, but at the same time he was smiling at the view of Gilbert – he was playing with the waves like a little boy who was seeing the sea for the first time. And in a way, that was the case.

"Either a lady or a little kid… Do you ever act like a man?" he asked, throwing an amused insult at him. Gilbert stopped his game with the waves and glared at Lovino with mock danger.

"Do I have to make you hang over a bottomless well, too?"

"I don't see how that has anything to do with being manly. If you want to prove yourself, you could help me unload all the junk that you just had to take with us."

"Alright, sure. But we're going swimming as soon as possible, okay?" Gilbert jogged over to him and grimaced as the sand clung to his wet feet. Lovino just snorted and watched how the German stumbled his way with clumps of sand on his feet. They set up three colourful parasols and spread several blankets under them. Gilbert had even found two rusty beach chairs and had to fight to set them up while Lovino went to the cliffs and dipped the coolbox into one of the many holes where it was cold and wet. When he came back, Gilbert was standing triumphantly by the now functional chairs.

"What are you waiting for? Go!" Lovino said, tired of the impatient look. It took only a second until Gilbert had pulled his T-shirt over his head and run back to the sea. The water splashed into all directions as he collided with the waves, but that didn't bother him – he ran, stumbled onwards – and suddenly sank from view. Lovino laughed as he disappeared into the sea, but a worried look soon took over his features – Gilbert had never said if he could swim. He waited a few seconds and when Gilbert still hadn't reappeared, he ran after him – throwing his shirt and sandals off on the away, eyes locked to the spot where Gilbert had disappeared.

The cold water cooled his hot skin in a pleasant way as he dived to look for his new flatmate, but he didn't notice that – he was too taken over by his worry. How was he supposed to find this reckless idiot if he had sunk to the bottom? It was only a few metres deep by the beach, but the surrounding cliffs went much further under the surface. He could have sunk into a bottomless pit.

The salt burned his eyes, and even though he tried to fight against it and keep them open, he couldn't see far. After his lungs were about to give in, he swam back to the surface. Gilbert had probably appeared again and was laughing himself silly at Lovino acting like a scaredy cat. But when he broke through the surface of the water, he was only welcomed by a view of the beach with his green car and the three parasols and the blankets. Gilbert was nowhere to be seen. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! That couldn't be true – he couldn't have…

All other thoughts were interrupted when his breathing was cut off. A hand had been placed on the back of his head and shoved him underwater where he sputtered and struggled until the hand let go of him again and he was free to gasp for air.

"You – youuuu!" His voice shook and he held himself back from jumping angrily at Gilbert who was struggling to stay afloat – his laughing fit wasn't exactly doing wonders to his swimming skills.

"Your face! You should have seen your face!" he managed to cackle. Lovino would have liked to punch him, but at the same time he was feeling endlessly relieved. This stupid idiot! He had no idea what a scare he had experienced. He thought it was anything but funny.

"And that was revenge for not telling me that it burns like hell with a sunburn – eh? Hey, is everything okay?" Apparently he had seen his quivering lips despite Lovino's attempt to be as angry as possible. His expression changed in a moment and now it was Gilbert who was looking at Lovino in worry. "Hey, I didn't want to scare you like that…" Lovino turned his head to hide his weakness and splashed half-heartedly at Gilbet as he pulled him close into a hug. He really wanted to be angry, but the shock was only now rising to the surface. He had really thought that Gilbert had drowned here at his favourite spot, and it would have been all his fault.

"It's okay, I'm still alive," Gilbert mumbled reassuringly. Lovino decided that it was simpler to press his face against Gilbert's chest than to let him see his trembling lips again, which was why he stopped fighting back and endured the hug.

"I'm not happy about that," he said hatefully. Gilbert laughed into his brown hair. He had to fight the urge to press a kiss onto Lovino's head. That would have probably been inappropriate. It was just that he was so happy – even if he felt guilty – that he was slowly starting to know Lovino properly. He was sharing his various emotional states and able to make him do more than throw a grim glare or a growled answer at him. They had only known each other for a month, but the fact that they spent so much time together and had nobody to distract them brought them closer together regardless of the differences in their personalities. If all of his bosses had been like that, he would have probably kept most of his other jobs for longer. But with that Russian slave driver he probably wouldn't have been floating so carelessly in the sea. Their bodies were casually nestled under the water – not on purpose but forced that way by the streams. He could feel Lovino breathe against his throat. Based on the rhythm of his breathing, he had calmed down again. Gilbert broke the hug to see his face. No wonder Lovino had remained in this position. His head was red as a tomato. Normally Gilbert would have grinned at that, but not today.

He wasn't sure how to read this look. Lovino was staring at him – unsure, withdrawn, questioning. Wet strands of his hair were glued onto his forehead; only that one stubborn curl fought against gravity and let one of the glittering drops of water fall on Gilbert's nose. They were still so close – their noses were almost touching. He would have only had to bend a little bit forwards to press his lips on that wet, half-open mouth before him. The tension grew unbearable – he was sure he could hear the air crackle. They had been staring at each other for too long – this was the moment, the sign, the right opportunity. And yet something was holding him back. He wasn't the kind of guy who thought too hard about things, but he sure was doing that now. Did Lovino even want that, or was he reading him wrong? God – did he even like men? How would their relationship change? Would be think he was a cheater since it was just yesterday that he had talked about Elizabetha? Why – why – had he done that? He would have liked to kick himself.

The moment was slowly over and Gilbert had no idea how to react. An embarrassing hawking sound made its way out of his throat. And then – suddenly – it was full of water, just like his nose and the whole world. Two hands held him tightly on the shoulders, stopping him from getting back to the surface and coughing up the water in his lungs. When they let go again, he jumped up high, choking and fidgeting. Lovino was looking at him smugly.

"That's called revenge, ass!"

Gilbert couldn't help but laugh. "You're nuts. You can't have revenge for revenge! I hope you know that this means war!"

Unimpressed, Lovino splashed a torrent of water at his face, and Gilbert threw himself at him with a war cry.

They romped around in water for half of the morning. It was wonderful – only the two of them, cut off from the rest of the world, a break from the hard work, in a heavenly bay. Gilbert decided that it was irrelevant whether the tension remained platonic as long as he could still be with Lovino. Four weeks ago he wouldn't have imagined that he could get along with this grumpy Italian. Now he couldn't remember when he had last had so much fun with anyone without alcohol being involved. But Lovino – Lovino was interesting even without alcohol. It was so much fun to lure him out of his reserved ways, to make him laugh or joke, or just to argue with him. Lovino was a challenge. Gilbert liked challenges. They helped against his chronic boredom.

"What do you miss about the city?" Lovino asked a few hours later when they were lying on the blanket, wrapped up in their towels and having plundered the coolbox. He was slurping on an ice tea, sunglasses on his nose and looked endlessly relaxed. Gilbert turned his head tiredly to throw a questioning look at him.

"Miss?" he muttered, drowsy from the energetic sloshing around in water and the morning's work and the sun. He was balancing a few cherry tomatoes on his stomach and stretched out his fingers in thought to push one into his mouth. "Hmm… I don't know. I can't think of anything."

"I don't believe you. You've spent your whole life there and didn't seem all that happy to be deported here. Surely you miss something?"

Gilbert bit into the tomato and let his tongue dance with the juice that tasted good on his lips. It was hard to shrug in his lying position, but he let out another half-hearted "Hmmm…" to make his helplessness known. "Not really… At most, I miss my childhood when my father was still alive and we could afford something."

"Alright, fine. What's your best childhood memory in the city?" Lovino asked, reaching out to steal the next cherry tomato that Gilbert had just been about to shove into his mouth.

"Strangely enough, the best memory has nothing to do with the city," Gilbert said after having spent a while deep in thought. "My uncle had a farmhouse outside the city, in the countryside. He died before my father, but when he was alive, Ludwig and I sometimes spent the weekend with him. We slept in hay. One of the little chicks chose me as its new mother and nestled in my hair. I didn't even notice until Ludwig started to laugh. There were horses, too. My uncle taught me to ride, and I loved it. Ludwig was afraid of them, but I could have spent the whole day galloping on the fields with the wind in my hair, invincible. I always liked to imagine what it would be like to ride to war like that. No tanks or bombs or shit. Just a man and his pride and his sword. Eye to eye with the enemy. I had no opponent, but I still felt like a hero."

Lovino lifted his sunglasses up to his forehead and looked at him with genuine interest. He looked good like that, Gilbert thought. All stress and worry were gone. His brown skin glittered in the sun that was making him sweat despite the protection of the parasol. For a while, they were content to just look at each other, tired and happy, accepting their new, special friendship. It didn't feel strange anymore – not after they had spent the whole morning wrestling and trying to pull each other's swimming trunks down. All tension was gone from between them. They had probably both had to re-learn what it meant to have a good friend and that not every affection had to be the beginning of a romance. After a while, Lovino snorted.

"Didn't think you could ride."

"I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt. I can do anything! Actually, you should be calling me Gilbert the Awesome!"

"Dream on!"

"Awesome Beilschmidt?"

"You're crazy!"

And so they spent the rest of the day teasing each other, enjoying the sun, splashing around in the sea. In the afternoon, Gilbert talked his boss into exploring the holes on the coast and despite the aggressive resistance, they were eventually crawling over the dripping, slippery rocks, scaring a few sea gulls and throwing stones into the sea from the middle of the cliffs.

After a while, Lovino didn't even try to hide his smile anymore. He laughed openly with Gilbert, enjoying their friendship and freedom.

Neither of them had ever lived in the moment the way they now did.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm really sorry about how long it took to post this part. I've been really busy, so translating hasn't been among my top priorities. But I hope I'll get the next part up sooner.

**LIFE UNDER THE SUN**

**Chapter 4**

Before Gilbert really realised it, it was July. The sun kept shining on the sky, burning mercilessly, even though he had already thought he had reached the limit of what he could stand when he had arrived in May. At least the roof was already finished and he could alternate between work in the cool house and refreshing days of swimming at the bay. Sometimes they drove there in the evening as well to relax after a stressful day. One time Gilbert forgot to call his brother and friends for a whole week, and Elizabetha in particular was angry about that. But since Gilbert was a great boyfriend, he spent the following weekend in the town's small marketplace, looking for a pretty summer dress for her, and sent it to her together with a letter in which he described his new life in detail and filled every empty spot with pictures of chicklets. That seemed to calm her down enough for her to admit that she missed him a little the next time they were on the phone.

"You're strangely quiet," Lovino said on that evening as they were sitting together on the porch and sharing a bottle of red wine. They had started alternating between beer and wine evenings and they no longer complained about the other's taste.

Gilbert stretched his legs and let his bones crack, balancing the glass of wine between two fingers. "I was talked to Elizabetha today," he said after a while and took a sip to explain the following, thoughtful pause.

"And?"

"She said she'd never want to move to the countryside."

"Yeah, and?"

Gilbert strained uncomfortably on his garden chair to be able to look at his boss. "What do you mean, yeah and? Long distance relationships are shit and I can't find a job in the city. And I like it here. And I don't want to leave you right away either – you're the best pal I've had in a long time!"

"Then break up with her!" Lovino said, having problems looking all that flattered. Their conversation was somehow slow. With many pauses in-between, during which they sipped on their wine or listened to the chirping of grasshoppers. Lovino noticed a viviparous lizard that appeared from its hiding place behind the decorative plates and began its nightly hunt after mosquitoes just as Gilbert let out a long "hmmmmmmm".

"I can't break up with her," he grumbled. "I don't even know if we're actually officially together…"

"What? I thought she was your girlfriend?"

"I'm not sure, okay?" Gilbert grimaced. It was uncomfortable to talk about his life, but this theme wasn't as complicated as some others. Besides, he trusted Lovino. "We've known each other since childhood and always had a sort of love-hate relationship," he started. When Lovino didn't interrupt him and only waited for the rest of the story, he took a deep breath and said, "And at some point we grew up and she got together with this snob Roderich. But every time we met, sparks were flying in the air, even though it looked to everyone else like we couldn't stand each other. Yeah, and a month before I was sent here, we had a huge fight that ended with us going at it like our lives depended on it. She broke up with Roderich out of guilt, we've got two disastrous dates behind us and… well, then I was already sitting in the car on the way here."

Lovino nodded slowly, and Gilbert sighed.

"Maybe I'll go back after all, as soon as the summer is over. By then I must have taken care of all important things here."

Lovino jumped to his feet in alarm and stared at him in shock. "I go through the trouble of making friends with you, and you want to leave me in trouble right away?" he complained.

"Don't worry, I'll visit you. But I have to take care of my relationship somehow – after all, she's my maybe-almost-girlfriend! And I have certain needs, you know…" He made a hand gesture that showed that his needs were the kind that mostly happened below the waist. "To be honest, I have no idea how you can take it for so long."

Lovino grew crimson and changed the subject with an overly strained cough.

* * *

Gilbert spent the following day sanding down, painting and varnishing the garden chairs in the garage. The two splinters that he had got earlier had been enough. Some time later in the afternoon he was nevertheless interrupted. A strange noise came from outside – it was like a rattling motor – accompanied by Lovino's voice, calling out his name.

As he stuck his head out the garage door, he saw his boss sitting on something that looked like a…

"Vespa?" Gilbert wondered. Lovino tossed him something white and round that almost hit him in the head and almost did the opposite of what it was meant for.

"A helmet? Oh… oh, no! No, forget it! You can barely keep the balance with a car. With you I'll never get on a vehicle that only has two ancient wheels…"

"Don't be such a chicken and get on! After all the trouble I've been through to organize a picnic, dammit!" Lovino complained and let the engine roar. Gilbert took an instinctive step back.

"Picnic? Why a picnic?" he asked in panic. "Can't we just eat here on the porch like usual?"

"And where are we supposed to sit when all chairs have just been painted? Don't be such coward, dammit! I thought you were oh, so manly? And besides, I want to show you that there are more pretty things in southern Italy than just the beach… Bastard!"

What was it with the sudden, exaggerated profanities? In the past weeks, Gilbert had learned that Lovino only spoke like that when he was embarrassed. And it was usually nice things that made him that way. Gilbert felt conflicted. He wanted to find out what Lovino had planned for the day, but his survival instincts were telling him to knock out his boss with the helmet and run as far away as his legs would take him.

He ignored the survival instincts with a shaky draw of breath and put on the helmet. "It would be nice if you'd check every now and then if I'm still sitting behind you," he said as he climbed on the Vespa behind Lovino. He had barely sat down when Lovino yelled out "Hold on!" and before he could ask any questions or secure his damn helmet, they were dashing through the fruit trees. At the last moment, Gilbert had grabbed onto Lovino and spent the rest of the journey screeching into his ear in a manly way.

The journey was rocky, and thanks to his teary eyes, it took a while before Gilbert noticed that they were driving up a steep hill. It was a mystery to him how the old Vespa managed, and he decided he'd rather not think about the fact that they'd have to drive the same way back. Hopefully Lovino had at least thought to pack the sunblock because in the unlikely case that he survived the journey, he didn't want to die of sunburn right away.

But all worries about his skin disappeared when Lovino drove over a rock that was like a ramp, leaving them in the air for a second. He was pretty sure the Vespa was tuned – strange, he hadn't thought that Lovino would know his way in this field or that it would mean his death.

As the wheels of the Vespa hit the ground again, it was like lightning had struck Gilbert's coccyx, leaving him seeing stars and not registering much of the rest of the journey. It was only when Lovino braked and sent them revolving that he realised they had reached the top of the hill.

"Look at you. You're still alive," Lovino said mockingly as he freed himself of Gilbert's grip and shook his head, watching how the German fell weakly to the ground and spread his arms. He left Gilbert lying there, opened the trunk of the Vespa and took out a blanket and several boxes full of food. The scent of fresh bruschetta and garlic bread brought Gilbert back from his delirium and he began to crawl over when he saw Lovino waving at him with a tube of sunblock in hand.

"That wasn't necessary!" Gilbert remarked sarcastically and was then reminded that he shouldn't annoy Lovino too much when he was spreading sunblock on his skin. His back was already healed, but when one was as careless as Gilbert, it was an art not to be burned again every week.

"Stop whining, eat the bruschetta and enjoy the view!" Lovino ordered as he wiped off the remains of the sunblock on a napkin. Gilbert hadn't yet thought to look around – the steady ground had taken all of his attention. But now as he raised his head he noticed that from their spot they could see the whole area. And the view was simply breathtaking.

The area was dominated by hills, but Lovino had brought him to the highest one so that they didn't ruin their view of the sea. He could make out distant villages – terribly small and near the coast. The rest was covered by small farms, small spots of orange trees and grapes, sheep and goats that were eating the grass between brown rocks, olive trees and stubborn, thorny scrubb that had taken over every spot untouched by humans. The slowly setting evening sun covered everything in golden light and threw shadows of the tattered clouds over the land like blankets.

Lovino had been watching Gilbert's shock with half a smile on his lips and nodded towards a certain spot on the coast. "That's the bay," he said and stretched out his hand so that Gilbert's eyes could follow his finger. "Do you see it?"

Gilbert slit his eyes and searched the coast, but he couldn't find the spot. With an exaggerated sigh, Lovino walked behind him, pressed himself against his back and reached out his hand over his shoulder. "There!" he said, right next to his ear, and Gilbert had to fight back a shudder. He tried to focus on the arm that was directing his eyes, and he did indeed spot the small hole in the cliffs where they often drove to. It looked ridiculously small from up there. No wonder he hadn't seen it.

"How did you ever find it? Were you so bored that you were just exploring the cliffs?"

Lovino's weight was removed from against his back, and a strange empty feeling took over Gilbert, but he shook it off right away. Lovino crossed his legs under him and grabbed another container. "I'm interested in the area where I live," he said and handed the container to Gilbert. "Tomatoes?"

"Hm? No, thanks," Gilbert muttered, still fascinated by the view. He soon realised that Lovino didn't take no for an answer when the topic was tomatoes since in the next moment there was a small, red fruit pressed against his lips. When he tried to open them to protest, Lovino used the chance to simply push it into his mouth. Gilbert could only stare as Lovino's finger brushed against his lower lip when he drew his hand back. He bit the cherry tomato in half. Soon his mouth was filled with the spicy taste and Lovino looked like he wanted to say "See? I knew you wouldn't regret it. Tomatoes are awesome, yippee!" – Okay, maybe Gilbert was reading a bit too much into his expression.

"And? Do you still think it's a terrible idea?" Lovino asked after a while. They were in the middle of eating their home-made mini pizzas, and Gilbert's mouth was stuffed with at least two of them, which was why he only shook his head. He thought it was wonderful here – even if his opinion would probably change again when it was time to get on the Vespa. A thoughtful expression took over Lovino's face as he was looking over his home. "Do you really want to go back?"

So that was what this was all about! Gilbert had to hold back a smile, which wasn't all that difficult with his full mouth. He swallowed as quickly as he could so that he wouldn't keep Lovino waiting for too long. "You know," he said when he could talk again without spitting pieces of pizza all over the other, "if we invite Eliza here and bring her to this hill, her opinion will definitely change." Lovino snorted but looked pretty satisfied. "And then we'll build a little house, right next to yours so that we can annoy you every day. And Eliza will become the best friend of your…" Here was where Gilbert cut himself off, not even knowing why. He had been about to say "wife", but somehow he couldn't bring himself to. Somehow he didn't want Lovino to have something like a wife. It didn't suit him.

"My what?"

"Fruit trees…" Gilbert finished stupidly.

Lovino threw a sceptical look at him. "Is Eliza a potted plant or what?"

"Oh, did I never tell you?"

"And what kind of plant exactly?"

"A nettle!"

"That's no potted plant, you dumbass!" Lovino growled. "But she sounds lovely."

"In the truest sense of the word," Gilbert said, and Lovino threw a cherry tomato at his forehead. The albino grabbed it in the air and put it into his mouth. "Oh, well. In any case, I'll find some way to talk her into staying. But first I'll have to teach you a few more lessons about getting along with people so that you won't send her fleeing with your hate for strangers." Another tomato bounced off his forehead.

"I'm Italian – I know my way with women," Lovino said, to which Gilbert only lifted his brows in doubt. "Don't look at me like that! It's true!"

"Suuuure," Gilbert only said and fumbled for the second tomato that had rolled somewhere in the folds of the blanket. "I'll believe that when I see it."

"Fine, I'll prove it to you!"

"With whom? Do you have a female scarecrow somewhere in your garden?"

"We could just go to the village and hang out with people."

"You sure that won't give you a rash?"

"Is your day's goal to piss me off?" Lovino growled, searching among the containers for something else to throw at Gilbert. The other lay down on his back and rolled over the blanket until he made contact with Lovino.

"That's my goal every day," he said against his thigh, and Lovino took the beer out of the cool box, which lit Gilbert's face.

"For once you didn't forget that today is beer evening!" he said happily and took the cool drink.

"Yeah, but I took the liberty of bringing Italian beer and not your German piss."

"Piss?" Gilbert repeated, shocked. "You're crazy!"

Lovino just grinned mischievously into his first gulp of beer, and Gilbert decided that he couldn't really be angry at him. "Next time I'll introduce you to German wine," he muttered instead, and Lovino nearly spat out his beer.

"Don't you dare!"

"It would only be fair!" – After the first gulp Gilbert had to admit that Italian beer wasn't that bad, and he took back his earlier words. "Okay, maybe not totally fair. But I think we should have a Jägermeister evening some time."

"The point is not to get drunk," Lovino argued. "As your boss, I forbid that."

"You can't tell me what to do in my free time!"

"But you have no specific working hours, so you don't have specific free time either. I can do whatever I want with you."

Gilbert muttered something about founding a union and going on strike, but he was soon distracted by something in the horizon. "Hey!" he said, staring at the open see. Lovino tried to follow his eyes but saw nothing. "We could try that some time!"

"What? Going on a thought reading course?"

"Sailing!" Gilbert explained and pointed at a row of small sailboats that could only be seen as tiny, white spots in the middle of the deep blue of the sea. "Do you know how?"

"I even know someone with a sailboat," Lovino said and Gilbert turned around with a shocked expression on his face.

"You know people?"

"Okay, it's Adamo!" Lovino admitted and glared angrily at the German as he began to laugh. "Do you want me to call him to ask if he can sail with us, or do you want me to toss you into the sea in a body bag?"

"Sorry," Gilbert coughed and stifled another chortle into his hand. "You couldn't do anything to me anyway. I'm the muscle man here, remember?"

"I only see a pale, lanky idiot. Why couldn't I do something to one like you? I carry heavy baskets around all day."

Gilbert only pursed his lips. "So, you really think you're stronger than me?"

"Of course," Lovino said arrogantly – a mistake, as he soon found out, because Gilbert dashed forward, shoved him in the shoulders and pushed him easily to the ground where he pinned him down with his entire body. Lovino cursed at him, but powerful words sadly didn't translate into physical strength, and so he had to cover up his defeat with an angry glare, which didn't seem to bother Gilbert at all.

"Oops, could it be that you overestimated yourself a little?" Gilbert purred. The tips of a few silver hairs were hanging down and tickled Lovino on the forehead. For a while he considered starting a counter attack with the help of his head, but then he had a better idea. Gilbert's grin disappeared as a malicious smile spread on Lovino's face.

"Maybe I just underestimated you. But don't worry, Gilbert, I'll make sure to pay attention to your manliness as we're riding the Vespa down the hill."

"No!" Gilbert said in shock and jumped to his feet, like he wanted to flee at once.

"And the helmet is for pussies anyway!" Lovino said and reached his hand for the white helmet, pretending that he wanted to toss it down the hill. Gilbert jumped at him with a screech and tried to grab the helmet from his fingers, making Lovino break into laughter.

"You're horrible!" Gilbert complained a couple of minutes later as they were sitting on the Vespa, the helmet firmly on his head and his arms so tight around Lovino that he almost couldn't breathe.

"Keep your mouth shut if you don't want to swallow an army of mosquitoes," Lovino only said and started the engine.

"Horribleeeeee!"


	5. Chapter 5

**LIFE UNDER THE SUN**

**Chapter 5**

It took a whole week before Lovino put the Vespa back into the shed behind the house – simply because it amused him to see Gilbert flinch whenever he stepped out into the yard and saw it.

"You're a goddamn sadist and I hope you'll choke on an olive one day," Gilbert grumbled as Lovino confessed this to him with a grin. The accusation didn't seem to bother him at all, but he nevertheless threatened to call Adamo and call off the sailing trip.

"You won't! Wait, the trip is actually happening already?"

"Not if you keep being such an ungrateful bastard."

"When? Come on, Lovi-Dovi, be a good boy!" Gilbert cooed, his mood clearly having improved just now, leading to him losing his senses.

"Lovi-Dovi? Are you nuts?" Lovino was stirring the pasta with a grim expression and tried to ignore the excited German who was jumping all around him, but it didn't work. "Alright! Tomorrow, okay? And now out of the kitchen! You must have something more important to do than bother me when I'm cooking."

"There's nothing more important for me than bothering you," Gilbert said and blew a kiss at him, running away with a laugh when Lovino tried to hit at him with the ladle. He kept hearing muttered Italian curses all the way to the living room, but Gilbert was already bothering another person.

The phone was ancient, just like all the rest of Lovino's items – it even had a rotary dial, and it had taken a lot of patience before Gilbert had understood how to use it. Now he always had lots of fun dialling the numbers and letting the whole thing roll back dramatically.

"This is the Beilschmidt-Vargas household. Ludwig Beilschmidt speaking," was said after a while in the distant voice of his brother.

"Heey, what's with that stuffy greeting?" Gilbert cackled. He could hear Ludwig sigh even through the ancient telephone.

"Gilbert, hello! Feliciano is waiting for a response from the places he applied at, and we don't want them to think they've made the wrong choice. He doesn't trust himself to answer the phone himself."

"Oh, you're so cute," Gilbert cooed. Sometimes his big brother feelings just took over him, and he couldn't help crooning into the phone. "Hey, I just realised that we also have a Beilschmidt-Vargas household here! We're the dysfunctional but cool big brother of your household!"

"Stop with that nonsense!" Lovino yelled from the kitchen. "This isn't a Beildschmidt-Vargas household!" Apparently this expression bugged him so much that he even left his pasta alone for a minute in order to march into the living room and struck Gilbert over the head with his ladle. It looked like he was about to turn away again, but he stopped for a moment and tore the receiver from Gilbert's hand.

"Potato sack!" he greeted Ludwig. "Tell my little brother that he still has to send the evidence photos for this month! And make sure that he doesn't eat too much potatoes and sausage, is that clear?" Before Ludwig could reply, he had shoved the receiver back to Gilbert and marched back into the kitchen.

"I'm stunned you get so well along with him," Ludwig sighed. As usual, his tone was full of patient suffering that Gilbert totally ignored.

"Nobody can be mad at me! I'm too sexy!"

Lovino once again popped his head out of the kitchen. "What has got into you today?" But he decided that he didn't want to ruin the tomato sauce because of Gilbert and returned to the stove with a mutter that promised Gilbert plenty of pain and suffering in the future. But that didn't matter – he felt so light; it was a great day and he would have liked to laugh and dance through the living room. Gilbert Beilschmidt was in a good mood and couldn't keep it to himself.

The brothers spent another moment talking on the phone before Lovino finally yelled that food was ready and that it was high time Gilbert stopped abusing his phone bill. Gilbert said goodbye to his brother and was about to hang up when Ludwig stopped him with an awkward cough.

"Uh… There's one more thing I have to tell you…" he said, making Gilbert lift his brows.

"Yeah? What?"

"I… I saw Elizabetha," Ludwig managed to say after a while. Gilbert wondered what was so strange about that. "…with Roderich."

"What?"

"Don't jump into conclusions, Gilbert! They were together at a café. No kisses, no holding hands, nothing. She probably just felt guilty and wanted to explain everything to him," Ludwig said to calm him down, but something was already growing inside Gilbert. A small knot was forming out of his entrails and ruining his good mood. Ludwig was probably right, but he didn't like the fact that Eliza hadn't said anything about it to him.

"Okay. Thanks," he said and before Ludwig could ask if everything was alright, he had hung up. He remained sitting for a moment and ignored Lovino who kept calling out to him on the porch. Then he dialled Elizabetha's number.

He put the receiver back when nobody answered even after he had let the phone ring twelve times. He shuffled outside where Lovino was glowering angrily but had already set him a plate of pasta. He looked like he was ready to start nagging, but then he noticed the sudden change in Gilbert's mood as he let himself fall unenthusiastically on one of the newly painted garden chairs.

"Okay, what did that stupid cabbage head say to you to make you act like the sailing trip has been cancelled?" he asked in suspicion. He appeared as if he wanted to jump up and run to the city to give Ludwig a proper kick in the ass.

"Nothing," Gilbert said tiredly and began to twirl spaghetti around his fork and to slurp it noisily. Because of his mood, Lovino refrained from yelling at him about it and devoted himself to his own plate with a worried look on his face.

Gilbert spent the rest of the day cleaning the basement, which basically involved him running away from every spider with a screech and calling out for Lovino who had to come and take care of them for him.

"It's a basement! Of course there are spiders!" his boss groaned as he was called away from his tomato plants for the third time. Gilbert claimed that such massive monstrous beasts weren't normal, and Lovino laughed at him and called him a girl. But Gilbert refused to believe that a spider that was as big as his hand couldn't give him a poisoning or an untreatable illness. Rats and mice were no problem, beetles and worms were funny, but spiders and cockroaches were where the fun ended!

"You'll just have to get used to them," Lovino said, smashed a spider with his shoe and shuffled out of the basement. "And stop bothering me!"

A few hours later, he found Gilbert curled up on the couch, staring into nothingness with his arms around a pillow.

"Okay. So many emotions in one day can't be healthy. What's wrong?" he grumbled as he sat down by his side.

"I took care of the next spider myself, like you said."

"What did you do?"

"Captured it under a bowl."

"Okay. And then?"

"It started spitting out an ocean of smaller spiders."

Lovino had to hold back a smile. "You mean, it started giving birth."

"No!" Gilbert turned on his back to stare at him with conflicted, honest eyes. Eyes that had seen true horror. "It spat out an army of little spiders. An army! The whole bowl was full! Everything was crawling and wheezing and scratching, Lovino…" He swallowed, and for a while he looked like a doctor who had to tell his patient the worst possible news. "We have to burn down your house. There's no other way to get rid of them."

"Okay. That's enough. I'm calling the nearest psychiatric hospital!" Lovino said dryly and got up to get the telephone. But Gilbert caught his hips and pulled him back on the couch. He was also holding back a laugh.

"I'm not joking, Lovi-Dovi!"

"Not this name!"

"They'll take over the entire house!"

"Are you going to start screaming and dancing on the table when you see a mouse?"

"They'll be everywhere, Lovino! Imagine, you want to take a shower and they come crawling out of the shower head!"

"Stop! I mean it!"

"You want water for your pasta, but instead you get a dark brown stream of crawling spiders out of the tap…"

"Gilbert! Stop!"

"I won't be able to sleep tonight!"

"My sympathy is untold."

"You have to let me sleep in your bed!"

"Only over my dead body…"

And that was how they spent the evening: teasing each other and laughing but without any real spite behind it. Gilbert forgot about the knot inside him, and Lovino forgot to ask what Gilbert had done with the spiders in the end. When they went to bed, Gilbert was so exhausted that he had no trouble falling asleep despite his trauma. When Lovino tried to wake him up in the morning, he was so enarmoured by his dreams that he simply refused to get up.

"I thought you wanted to go sailing?"

"But not at, at…" Gilbert lifted his crumpled face from the pillow to take a look at his digital alarm clock. "At five in the morning! Are you nuts?"

"Hey! We're sailing. We have to follow the wind, not your princely sleep patterns. And now come on. Adamo won't wait forever."

Lovino was waiting for him with a cup of fresh espresso when he appeared into the kitchen with half-closed eyes, messy hair and wearing pants the wrong way around.

"Man, wake up, Sleeping Beauty!" Lovino grumbled and Gilbert decided that he didn't have the energy to complain about the name. He inspected his espresso with a disgusted expression. Lovino didn't usually give him caffeine because he was already in high spirits most of the time. Not that he had anything against it – Gilbert couldn't stand coffee and was only able to down it with lots of milk and sugar. But right now this was his only hope of getting rid of the tiredness that was making his eyes blurry, and so he brought the cup to his lips and poured the dreck down his throat.

Lovino had to wake him up with a hit to the back of his head because he soon fell asleep on the table, but when they were finally sitting in the car, the espresso began to take effect and Gilbert became livelier by the minute. Soon the first rays of the sun appeared in the horizon, and Lovino silenced him with his elbow when he began to sing "Good Morning Starshine" in a raspy voice.

"Today is going to be a great day!" Gilbert decided while Lovino complained that his mood kept changing like that of a pregnant woman. "Only because your mood is always so rotten doesn't mean you have to expect the same of others." Gilbert pushed his head out of the window like a dog and continued singing.

By the time they parked the car, Lovino and his driving style had managed to make Gilbert shut up and sit on his seat with a silent cry for help on his face, all musical numbers gone from his mind.

"Nice weather," Lovino remarked as he got out of the car. Gilbert plopped out of the other side and muttered, "Nice that we're still alive." Lovino didn't reply; he had spotted Adamo who was standing by a beautiful sailboat and waving. To his surprise, he wasn't alone. Next to him stood a blonde girl in a white summer dress, looking curiously into their direction. Behind them was a giant of a man, though half of his height seemed to be due to his hair. Despite the warm weather, he was wearing a thin, blue-white scarf and was carrying a pipe.

"Well, did you wake the potato beetle from its slumber?" Adamo asked with a laugh as Gilbert hurried to give him a comradely hug.

"Espresso," Lovino explained shortly while Gilbert explained to Adamo in a fake female voice how he had thought he'd die during the ride and never see him again. The blonde girl seemed to find him very amusing since she let out a giggle – the man, on the other hand, appeared like he wanted to strangle Gilbert.

"Gilbert, Lovino – Bella and Ned," Adamo said as soon as Gilbert let him breathe again. Gilbert grinned at the both of them, whereas Lovino did his best to show the pretty girl his seductive, Italian smile and hide it from the man at the same time. Gilbert saw it anyway and was very impressed – he had never seen such a look on Lovino's face before.

"Didn't you want to prove something?" he whispered to his boss and shoved him with his elbow as Adamo was explaining that he had actually been meaning to go sailing with Bella and Ned, but they had agreed to let Gilbert and Lovino come along. The two were siblings and came from the Netherlands. They liked to spend their summer holidays in the Mediterranean. Lovino ignored Gilbert – it seemed his Italian roots had taken over, and he could barely tear his eyes from Bella.

"And how do you like it here?" he asked in a deeper voice than usual. He was looking at the both of them, but his question was clearly meant for Bella, who smiled back at him. Her voice was like honey despite the accent, and even Gilbert was taken in for a moment.

"It's the perfect holiday if you ignore Mr. Grumpy here," she said and pointed her hand at her brother, who was still sucking on his pipe in silence and seemed occupied with the effort to look threatening. "The weather is perfect, the area beautiful and you Italians are so friendly, even in a small village like this one…"

"It's in our blood," Lovino purred, and Gilbert snorted audibly, which, apart from Adamo's knowing grin, brought no reaction from anyone.

"Are we going to stand here all morning?" he said, trying to get some of the attention. "I thought we were going to sail. Didn't you say something about going with the wind?"

"Please excuse Gilbert's impatience. He can't help his bad manners. He's German," Lovino explained to the siblings without even glancing at the other. Gilbert decided that he didn't like this Macho-Lovino, even though it was very interesting to see him like that. Flowing movements, the eyebrows for once not scrunched in a frown and a pleasant, velvety voice that could give one goosebumps.

At least Adamo agreed with Gilbert's notion and started to help Bella into the boat. As soon as her back was turned, Lovino whirled around to face Gilbert – his usual grumpy expression was back, and he hissed, "What the hell was that?"

"What was what?" Gilbert asked innocently.

"I was trying to flirt here. Just because I'm trying to prove something doesn't mean that you have to make it into a challenge. You wanted to see if I can deal with girls, and I'll show you that I can. And besides, she's cute. So let me have fun. It's not every day I get to know new people."

Gilbert suddenly felt guilt gnawing at his conscience, and Lovino sighed when he noticed his apologetic expression.

"It's fine. You can try to keep the terrible brother from grabbing my throat," he whispered before climbing onto the boat after Ned. Gilbert remained standing for a moment. Keeping the brother from grabbing his throat? Why was he here anyway, as a distraction? God! He was grumbling to himself as he took Adamo's hand and joined the others on the boat. Lovino owed him a huge favour!

Thankfully, Ned was otherwise occupied during the trip. While Bella and Lovino were sitting on the railing, enjoying the view and flirting with each other, Adamo and Ned took care of the sail. Gilbert was allowed to sit at the helm and followed Adamo's instructions. Soon they had left the coast behind them and were swaying softly on the deep blue waves at open sea. Gilbert enjoyed the wind and the sun on his skin – Lovino had put sunblock on him as he had staggered half-asleep into the kitchen and downed the espresso, but it seemed he'd have to add more soon. Out here the sun was even stronger than usual, and the closer to noon it got, the worse it became. But at the moment it wasn't a problem, and Gilbert focused entirely on the water below them and the seagulls that passed them every now and then. From on top of the hill the sailboats had looked so small that he had been expecting the hill to appear massive from this perspective. But it seemed so tiny and distant now with the wind in his ears and foam sprinkling against his face. He liked this feeling. It was all so… lively.

"You can swim if you want to," Adamo suggested half an hour later when he had eased the sail to let them float in peace. Gilbert stared at the water with conflicted feelings. To be honest, he respected the open sea a lot – no wonder as it was still new to him. Of course he had already swum in the sea and ponds, but here it was so deep and unfathomable that he didn't even want to imagine what all lived down there. Neither of the Italians had a problem with throwing away their shirts and jumping into the water in just their shorts. Gilbert tried to stop Lovino from following Adamo's example – he wanted him to add more sunblock on his back – but he soon realised it was difficult to get Lovino's attention. Bella had taken off her summer dress with a fluid movement and was now dressed in only a yellow bikini that complemented her round curves and left even Gilbert almost drooling.

"You already have girlfriend," he admonished himself and watched in amusement how Lovino jumped into the water to cool down his head. Bella followed the two with an elegant jump and soon the three were frolicking in the water while Gilbert stood on the boat with a tube of sunblock in his hand and felt a little lost.

"What is it? Can't you swim?" a growling voice asked. As he turned around, he saw Ned leaning against the mast, still sucking on his pipe. His hair had suffered a little in the wind, but other than that, he didn't look any less threatening than before.

"I'd rather not to," Gilbert said with a shrug of his shoulders. "What about you?"

Ned only snorted and squinted at the two Italians who were doing their best to impress Bella in the water. "I'm just here to make sure that the slimy machos don't do anything to my sister," he said and spat at his feet. "Southeners! I can't stand them."

"You should see Lovino when there are no girls around. He's somehow like you," Lovino said with a grin. Ned only lifted his brows in disbelief. "What are you smoking anyway?"

Instead of an answer, he received the pipe and accepted it with some hesitation. He had never been a true addict – more of an occasional smoker, but he didn't have any cigarettes anymore now that he was in southern Italy. But when he sucked on the pipe, he recognised the contents right away, and the surprise made him cough.

"Pot?" he rasped. "You're sailing when you're high?"

"What's here to crash into?" Ned asked and took the pipe back. "And I need something to calm me down so that I won't castrate one of these dirtbags."

Gilbert thought about it for a moment before shrugging his shoulders and leaning on the mast by Ned's side. "When I think about it, it's still safer than driving a car with Lovino. To be honest, these Italians are totally crazy!" This earned him another suck from Ned's pipe, and he soon forgot all about the sunblock. Instead, he kept leaning on the mast, shared the pipe with his new friend and watched the others play in the water.

The morning was over soon, and Adamo decided to take them back to land before the sun got too strong. This time Bella was at the helm while Lovino helped Adamo with the sail, which allowed Gilbert and Ned to sit on the railing and continue smoking. Even though Ned appeared so serious, he clearly knew how to party, and they talked about their various adventures in the city life. They also became occupied with Gilbert's tube of sunblock. Ned remained calm and relaxed as he spread the lotion on Gilbert's back, but Gilbert broke into a fit of giggles and earned a knowing grin from Bella and a confused shake of his head from Lovino.

Back in the village, they all decided to have lunch together, which resulted in another competition over Bella's attention between the two Italians. Who could hold the door open for her, who could offer her a chair, who could recommend wine to her? To Gilbert's amusement, Bella only remarked that she could do it all herself and that she wasn't a little kid. It wasn't that easy to wrap her around one's finger. Gilbert decided that he rather liked her.

While Adamo and Lovino kept trying to show off their Italian charm during the lunch, Ned and Gilbert had fun emptying the bottle of wine and making crude remarks. The wine and the pot turned into a happy feeling inside Gilbert's head, and as they all left the restaurant, he threw himself at Lovino in a comradely way and refused to let go. They said goodbye to the siblings who wanted to visit a friend and to Adamo who said he had to be back at work, and then began to search for their car.

"Since when does wine go to your head like that?" Lovino complained as Gilbert kept leaning on him and had to be shoved away. Gilbert just giggled.

"You weren't that awesome, huh?" he cackled. Lovino directed a warning glare into his direction, but he didn't even notice it. "Middle European girls are independent, and your flirt bounces off them, like off a stone wall!"

"Oh, yeah?" Lovino said with a hum. Satrangely enough, he seemed very pleased with himself. Gilbert began to sulk as Lovino took out a napkin from his pocket. "Then it must be odd that she gave me her number."

"Coincidence," Gilbert grumbled before breaking into a grin. "You know, if you need a few tips – I know my way around middle European girls!"

"Like I need tips from you!"

"Weeeeell, do you know how to greet someone in the Netherlands? Say it, a kiss on the cheek – does that earn you a slap or a kiss in return?"

Lovino just glared at him in anger.

"Do you know?"

"Fine, tell me then, you big middle European girl expert!"

"Hm, no, it's not that easy… You have to find out yourself. I'm also middle European, so try your luck!"

"What? Are you crazy? I won't kiss you!"

Gilbert only cackled and offered him his cheek. "You have no Internet, so you can't google it. How else are you going to find out by the time you see her again, hm?"

"By taking care of your balls with a nutcracker, bastard!"

"Come on, Lovi-Dovi! Don't be so shy!" Gilbert kept imposing on his boss until he finally gave him a quick peck on the cheek, face dark red. For a moment, Gilbert was surprised. Lovino was watching him, ready to withdraw his head in case the answer really was a slap. But Gilbert soon broke into a grin. He threw his hands into the air and chirped, "Congratulations! You're going to get a kiss in return!" In the next instant, Lovino had to grab a handful of light hair to keep Gilbert from burying him under kisses.

"Enough, you nutcase!" Lovino said with a gasp, unable to hold back his laughter. They stumbled through the parking lot together, Lovino trying to keep Gilbert away from him and Gilbert trying to break through his barrier.

"I mean it!" Lovino yelped when Gilbert managed it and pressed a number of wet kisses on his cheek. "Never again! I'm never letting you be a distraction for terrible, Dutch brothers again!"

So, he had noticed it wasn't just the wine. Gilbert withdrew from his boss with a grin and tousled his hair.

"Do you know what's good about this? This time I'm actually going to have fun on the way back!"

"Believe me," Lovino growled, planning to make his driving as kamikaze-like as he could. "You most certainly won't!"


	6. Chapter 6

**LIFE UNDER THE SUN**

**Chapter 6**

Gilbert had started to paint the house. It wasn't at all as simple as he had imagined because not only did it have to be cleaned of moss and vines but it also had lots of tiny cracks and holes that had to be filled. When a swarm of disgusting beetles flew at his face when he was working on the second hole, he threw his trowel away and decided to have a snack break.

When he stepped into the kitchen, he spotted Lovino sitting at the table and focusing on a number of photos. He was so focused, in fact, that he didn't notice Gilbert as he walked behind him to take a look over his shoulder.

"Why are you staring at naked photos of your own brother?"

Lovino almost fell off the chair in shock and shot a venomous glare in Gilbert's direction, not quite able to hide his embarrassment.

"How's that any of your business, bastard?"

Gilbert shrugged and and wandered to the fridge as Lovino collected the photos of Feliciano with nothing but a newspaper covering his privates. "It isn't, but… I thought you'd perhaps like to explain this and remove this new impression of you as a frustrated incest freak from my mind."

Lovino kept glaring at him, as if Gilbert was drinking his orange juice in a particularly irritating way. Well, to be fair, a gulp straight from the carton and then putting it back wasn't an act worthy of praise, but due to his discovery, Gilbert had the upper hand here and wanted to enjoy it for as long as he could.

With a snort, Lovino returned his attention to his photos and organized them on the table before putting them back into their envelope. "These are the evidence photos that Feliciano sends me every month," he finally said. Gilbert looked at him curiously with the bag of crisps that he had snatched from the cupboard.

"Evidence photos?"

"I told him I'd only let him live with that potato gorilla if he sent me evidence every month that he's not turning into a chunk of muscles or a fatass. Who knows what kind of dog food is on the dinner table over there."

"And the newspaper?" Gilbert asked with an expression that took every ounce of his will power. He didn't know if this story was extremely funny or frightening. And so he stuffed his mouth full of crisps to stop himself from laughing out loud.

"That's so that I can prove the date," Lovino said seriously. His expression didn't change as Gilbert exploded into laughter and he received a mouthful of crisps to his face.

"I don't believe it!" Gilbert gasped, wiping tears of laughter with salty fingers. "How controlling can you get? And about such a ridiculous thing…"

"It's not a laughing matter that I'm taking care of my little brother," Lovino protested. He tried to appear collected, but Gilbert knew he was embarrassed. Otherwise he would have already had a fit because of the crisp crumbs in his hair. "Just because you're a terrible older brother doesn't mean that I can't take care of Feliciano!"

Gilbert suddenly felt anger bubble inside him. He couldn't stand it when people automatically assumed that he was abusing Ludwig's willingness to let him live with him. They all had no idea what he had been through to make Ludwig what he was today. He wasn't a school drop-out because of laziness or stupidness; he had been fighting for years, sometimes taking illegal jobs, only to make sure his little brother was doing fine. So fine, in fact, that he had been able to study law in a respected university. As a result Gilbert was without a degree, without decent references and with impressive criminal records. If he was finally leaning back and wanted to enjoy Ludwig's gratefulness, that didn't mean he was a lazy asshole.

"Watch what you say!" he snapped at Lovino, who flinched due to the poisonous tone of his voic. "You have no idea about my qualifications as an older brother!"

Lovino's hold of the envelope tightened, and he didn't even notice the paper crumpling. Maybe he felt sorry for what he had said, but he wasn't the type to admit it. And so he turned around, waved the envelope about and swaggered away with a "Whatever! I'm going to the basement with my qualifications as an older brother!"

Gilbert let out a breath he hadn't noticed he had been holding. He suddenly felt the need to call Eliza. She was usually very harsh with him, but other than Ludwig, she was the only person who understood the situation and – unlike his brother – knew when to comfort him with honest, friendly words. But it was only two days since he had last called her, and she had appeared so distant that the knots in Gilbert's stomach had doubled and were now so heavy that even his appetite was suffering. He had wanted to talk to her about Roderich – really – but the words had turned into a disgusting ball of fear – fear of the answer, fear of disappointment – and had refused to leave his mouth.

And so he walked past the phone and stepped onto the porch, just in time to hear Lovino's scream. The bag of crisps fell from his hands and he ran downstairs to the entrance to the basement. Lovino met him half-way and collided with him so hard that they both almost fell.

"What the hell is going on?" Gilbert demanded to know. He shook Lovino's shoulders and after a few moments of panic, the Italian finally managed to formulate a complete sentence.

"You fucking idiot!"

"Huh?" was Gilbert's intelligent reaction – out of surprise, he forgot to dodge Lovino's fists that were pummelling his chest.

"The spiders!" Lovino gasped in a squeaky voice – a verbal trick that Gilbert had never heard before. A short look at him showed that other than the panic attack, nothing had happened to him. Gilbert still didn't quite understand what Lovino wanted, but the word alone awoke distant memories inside him.

"You left the spiders in the bowl!"

A shiver went through Lovino's entire body as he spoke these words, and finally Gilbert's mind went click. Stupidly enough, he couldn't hold back a giggle – whether it was one of schadenfreude or relief, he didn't know. But Lovino didn't seem to find the matter funny at all.

"You damn idiot! Do you have any idea what kind of shock I just suffered, bastard?"

"Calm down, darling!" Gilbert soothed him. "Weren't you the one who was making fun of me?"

Lovino freed himself of Gilbert's grip. His hands went up to smooth his hair, and Gilbert noticed that his whole body was covered in goosebumps. His movements made him suspect that he was still feeling the spiders all over him.

"Okay," Gilbert said, "just what the hell happened to shake you so much? Usually I only see you like that when you have a bad hair day or when Feli doesn't answer your calls…"

"Did you ever think about lifting that stupid bowl again? Do you have any idea how horrible it is when you lift a damn bowl off the ground and suddenly an army of spiders the size of your hand rushes from under it?"

"Oh…" The mere idea made Gilbert shiver. Fine, maybe he had deserved the abuse. "Wait a minute!" He suddenly realised something. "It was a transparent salad bowl! Didn't you see what was inside?"

"Transparent?" Lovino screeched so loud that Gilbert had to take a step back. "The shitty bowl was so full that it was totally black!"

Yuck! Gilbert didn't even want to imagine how that had happened. The spiders must have been eating each other to live and multiply. What disgusting creatures. One day Gilbert would train a little bird to eat all the spiders around him! But he still wasn't done teasing Lovino.

"Still! If you're going to be like that to me, I won't feel at all sorry for you! At least now I'll have a nice story to tell Bella the next time I see her." He giggled to himself, but Lovino only frowned.

"What makes you think you're going to see her again?" he asked as he walked past him and up the stairs. Gilbert followed him slowly.

"I thought she gave you her number? Aren't you going to invite her here? Why am I fixing the whole house if nobody is going to see it?"

"Because otherwise it would fall apart!" Lovino had stopped on the highest step and was now looking at him with a frown. "And she was just flirting with me a little. You know that I'm not into relationships that are only physical, and it can't become anything else because she lives in the Netherlands."

For a moment, Gilbert didn't know what to say. He hadn't thought about that – not after Lovino had put so much effort into pleasing her. What was the point of all the trouble if he didn't get anything in return? Was that just the Italian genes, without any ulterior motives? But if he really was that celibate, then Gilbert understood Adamo and his lady stories much better. It must have been years since Lovino last had sex. The thought made Gilbert shiver in a way that was even worse than what the spiders had caused.

"You aren't serious, right?" he asked, but Lovino's expression made it clear that he was. Gilbert jerked and ran up the stairs to place a trusty hand on his boss's shoulder. "Okay, Lovi-Dovi. Let Master Gilbert explain something to you…"

Lovino rolled his eyes, but didn't make a move to escape. It was a good start. Gilbert shoved him into the house and onto the couch and imagined himself to be someone like Freud.

"So! On the theme of friends with benefits…"

In the end, Gilbert spent an hour explaining to Lovino why not every relationship had to end with a wedding and that it was worth it to have short, romantic flings that had no future. That it would definitely improve his mood and then he wouldn't have to jerk off in the shower every morning. (Gilbert had no idea if that was even true for Lovino, but he turned a fitting shade of red.) But in the end, Gilbert didn't get anywhere – as usual, Lovino growled at him, threw counter arguments at him and called him a potato bastard. Even after an hour, Gilbert hadn't been able to convince Lovino. The man was stubborn like a mule. But Gilbert had always been proud of his skills to talk people into things – God, he had managed to get Ludwig into a maid uniform during the last spring cleaning (but to be fair, that had more to do with the art of blackmail) and he refused to give up now. He still had a good argument up his sleeve.

"Okay, fine!" he snorted with the last of his patience. "Let's assume you start something with her and she goes back to the Netherlands. So? Ever heard of long distance relationships? If you aren't ready to start something with a girl who lives far away from here, you will never have any relationships in your life. Everything is far away from here. Do you want to date spiders for the rest of your life?"

Lovino, who had been lying on his stomach on the couch and staring at the wall in boredom, suddenly turned to look at him. For some reason, he looked angry.

"I thought, and I'm quoting you: long distance relationships are shit!"

"Still better than spending your life alone!" Gilbert argued. "Besides, when you fall in love with the other person, then you can deal with it! But how will you ever fall in love if you don't give anyone a chance?"

Lovino kept stabbing him with an angry glare, and Gilbert slowly began to ask himself if he had missed something.

"So, you're really going to stay with Eliza?" Lovino asked.

"Uh… Of course!" Gilbert had no idea why that would make Lovino mad, and he didn't want to admit to himself that it wasn't working out with her. He was so awesome that his awesomeness had to be detected back in the city, so she had to like him more than that damn Roderich. Back at that café, she had probably just wanted to tell him that her new boyfriend was so much better…

"Okay! Fine! I'll call her!" Lovino snapped, pulling Gilbert back from his thoughts. For a moment, he remained confused because he had forgotten what all of this was even about, but his boss was already marching to the telephone, took Bella's number from the drawer and began to angrily dial the numbers.

Gilbert watched in shock how Lovino's entire behaviour changed – the moment when Bella answered the phone could be seen in it. His face relaxed, his eyes closed and he spoke in the same, soft voice than on the day of the sailing trip. Gilbert was so stunned by it that he didn't even hear what Lovino said – probably the same exaggerated compliments as last time. But his mask seemed to work because when he put the receiver down, his face was covered in a satisfied smile, and he hissed at Gilbert, "I have a date with her tonight. Happy?" before marching out of the living room.

Gilbert remained sitting on the couch in surprise. He was still thinking about Eliza and Roderich's new relationship and had to let his brain work through the current situation. Strangely enough, the feeling of satisfaction that he was expecting didn't come; he wasn't really happy that he had been able to convince Lovino. With a grumble, he lay down on the couch and stared darkly at the ceiling. Somehow, he felt exhausted. The situation with Eliza apparently bothered him so much that he couldn't even enjoy his own awesomeness. And all of that even though he was so sure that this horrible feeling was totally uncalled for.

In the end, he kept lying there for half of the afternoon. Lovino tossed a cherry seed at him when he returned from the garden and marched through the living room to lock himself into the bathroom for half an hour. What a girl. Gilbert ignored his "Are you planning to still do something today?" as he emerged once again wearing an expensive designer shirt and tight trousers, playing with the car keys.

"Hey, bastard! Are you sick or what?"

"No, Lovi-Dovi. I just don't feel like hanging out with beetles and spiders again, and the pattern on the ceiling is so interesting."

Lovino just shook his head as he went to the front door and opened it with force. "You'll have to eat alone tonight. It's your fault. Try not to burn the kitchen." With these words, he was out the door, and Gilbert remained on the couch, listening to the footsteps on the porch and down the stairs and then to the start of the engine. A few moments later, the crunching of the tires on the road was gone, and the chirping of the grasshoppers was suddenly much louder than before.

Gilbet lied on the couch and thought about his relationship. At some point, he closed his eyes so hard that he saw stars, and when he opened them again, he had made up his mind. It was so simple. He would just call Elizabetha and be the best boyfriend in the world so that she'd never think about talking to another man again. Then he'd never have to worry about her like this.

So, he collected all of his energy, jumped up from the couch in blind enthusiasm and ran to the phone to dial Eliza's number. He listened to the beeping in impatience – it was ringing for the fourth, fifth, sixth time. Why wasn't she answering? His impatience soon turned into panic as he realised that he had no idea how to prove to her that he was the best boyfriend in the world. Suddenly, the beeping felt like the countdown of his time that was running out. He wanted to put the receiver back down, but suddenly there was a clack, and then:

"Gilbert."

One word, and he knew that this had been a mistake. Her words weren't a greeting, there was no joy behind them. Somehow she managed to make his name sound so hard and serious that the guilt she felt was audible in each syllable.

He did his best to ignore such things and cooed – rasped – a "Lizzie!" He wanted to add something. A "Wow, you must be leaping in joy for being allowed to hear my awesome voice!", but it was like his throat had been sewn shut.

"I've been meaning to call you."

"Oh, yeah?" Once again, he couldn't manage anything else. It was somehow weird. He should have known that this would happen – he had known but hadn't wanted to think about it; he had been using Lovino as a distraction during his weak moments. But now, when he had a girl, too, Gilbert was suddenly alone. Eliza was the last thing he had. And even though he often said the opposite, he could no longer stand the thought of being alone. He needed her, even if she was only a voice on the phone that kept scolding him for calling too early, too late, too little or too much. But now she only had a sigh for him.

"Gil… Oh, God, I wish I didn't have to do this on the phone…"

"Then don't!" Gilbert said, not knowing where he found the strength in his voice. "Come here for a weekend. You'll remember how much you've missed me!"

"Gilbert, look…" Her voice revealed how difficult this was for her. But Gilbert had little pity for her. He had called her with the hopes that she would cheer him up again. Instead, she had tossed him to the ground and was walking all over his feelings like he wasn't a living being who could feel pain and sadness and anger.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." She sighed, breathed in shakily before starting to explain, "I've been talking to Roderich lately. We happened to run into each other, and he wanted to talk…"

Gilbert considered putting the receiver down and forgetting that the previous half an hour had even happened. But his hand wasn't obeying him but kept holding the receiver against his ear, making him listen to the voice that he didn't want to hear.

"I… I don't know how to say this, Gilbert… I… I've realised that I didn't leave him because I didn't love him anymore but because the thing with you shocked me so much and made me feel so guilty…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gilbert asked. He tried to be angry, but nothing came of it. "That you don't love me?"

"No!" she said at once and realised only a moment later that the answer could mean two things. "I love you, Gilbert. But… in a different way. You're an adventurer. You make my blood boil. I love being with you even when we're driving each other up the wall. It's never boring with you. I can let my wild side out and… Well, the sexual tension is also there. But now that you're no longer here, I've realised something. You are not the man I need, Gilbert. I'm a grown woman, not a wild teenager. I need a peaceful life, a financially stable situation with a man whose love won't crush me emotionally. One who'll take me out to eat instead of fighting over the last slice of frozen pizza with me. One who remembers our anniversary. One who manages adult responsibilities. I love you, and I love Roderich, but you aren't the man I want to marry and have children with."

She had been talking for so long that the the sudden silence felt heavy in the air. Only the slight noise of the telephone told Gilbert that they were still connected. That it was his turn to say something, that she was waiting for his reaction. Like in a dream, he felt tears trying to find their way down his cheeks. Shit… That couldn't be. Now when he'd open his mouth, he couldn't guarantee that a sob wouldn't escape. But that couldn't happen. He was Gilbert Beilschmidt. He didn't cry like a little kid. Not after everything that had already happened to him. If his life of crime and violence couldn't break him, a woman couldn't do it either. That was why he was happy when he opened his mouth and only let out a pitiful laughter.

"Gilbert…" Elizabetha said. Her voice was full of pity. He hated nothing more than that.

"Lizzie. Please! I didn't think you'd be so boring! I thought I had found a woman with fire. A stable financial situation? Romantic dinners? Have you gone nuts? I'm sorry, but I don't want a girlfriend who has such boring views of a relationship, so… I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to break up with you…"

He heard Eliza sigh on the other end and quickly continued, "I know it must be hard for you, but don't worry about it. I can be really overwhelming. You're better off with Roderich. Okay?"

"Thank you," she whispered. There were no demands or anger in her voice, and it made it all so much more difficult.

"Hey. Lizzie."

"Hm?"

"If that shitty aristocrat ever disappoints you in any way… I'll be able to set his piano on fire even from here. Is that clear?"

He could almost hear her smile. God… He was the best boyfriend in the world, and he couldn't understand what she saw in this asshole, but as long as she was happy…

"I love you Gilbert. You know that, right?"

"Of course!" Gilbert cackled. He could hear the falseness in his words and it was nearly physically painful, which was why he decided that this was the moment to end this.

"Just not enough…" he finished the sentence for her after he had put the receiver down. With shaking limbs and a feeling of utter exhaustion, he picked himself up and staggered into his room where he fell onto the bed, buried his face into the pillow and said goodbye to his visions of his and Eliza's future children.


	7. Chapter 7

Once again, I'm sorry that it took this long to get this chapter translated. I hope the next one will be finished sooner.

**LIFE UNDER THE SUN**

**Chapter 7**

It took a few days before Lovino noticed that something was wrong. He and Bella had decided to enjoy their short time together to the best of their ability, which resulted in Lovino and Gilbert barely seeing each other anymore. Lovino now spent the time he had used to spend with Gilbert on the porch to drive to the village and do something with Bella. When he came back, he was usually so tired that he went straight to bed and didn't talk to Gilbert much.

That was fine with him. At least this way he didn't have to work so hard to hide his depression from Lovino. He distracted himself with his work – the house was soon free of all weeds, and all cracks and holes were filled so that Gilbert could soon start painting it. When that was taken care of, he borrowed Lovino's car and drove to Adamo in the village to learn gardening from him. Together, they bought seeds for beautiful climbing roses that would one day decorate the walls.

One evening, Lovino voiced his admiration for his work, and this small gesture was for a short while the high point of Gilbert's life. He couldn't help but wonder about it. Loneliness had him back in its iron grip, and Gilbert fell back to his old habit of talking himself into a good mood.

But when Lovino approached him with a frown one day, looking at a stack of papers in his hand, the game of hide and seek was over.

"Hey!"

"Hm?" Gilbert had just got out of bed, but he wasn't entirely awake yet, which was obvious – he hadn't shaved and looked rough around the edges, standing in the corridor and scratching himself absent-mindedly on the stomach as he waited for Lovino to tell him what was going on.

"I just got the phone bill…"

"Oh!" Gilbert blurted out, suppressing a yawn. "Have I been making too many calls to the city?"

Lovino was still frowning as he took another look at the papers and finally turned to look at him in confusion.

"No – the opposite. The bill isn't even half as big as last month."

Gilbert froze, hand stopping in mid-movement, and stared at Lovino like a caught animal.

"Has something happened? Now that I think about it, you've been acting all weird lately…"

"Nothing has happened!" Gilbert said at once and made his way past Lovino to go to the kitchen. "I'm just so popular lately that everyone has called me instead of the other way around. I mean, I'm always popular, but lately even more so – you probably didn't notice because you haven't been here, but I'm awesome!"

"Gilbert…" Lovino said with a sigh as he came to lean on the doorframe and watched with a doubtful expression how the German dug around the fridge in an attempt to hide his face from him. He wagged the piece of paper at him. "The bill also shows the numbers that have called us."

"…oh."

"You haven't talked with Eliza in two weeks. I may not be Sherlock Holmes, but I know what that means, okay?"

Gilbert stood frozen, his head still buried inside the fridge, and made no effort to react to Lovino's words. The Italian sighed once more before walking up to the other and pulling him away from the fridge. "I'm sorry that it didn't work out," he said softly. Gilbert usually resisted such treatment – he didn't want any pity and no artificial niceness, but he wasn't used to Lovino taking him into his arms like this. Even though he had been avoiding this exact situation for two weeks, he couldn't deny that it felt good.

"I'll live," he muttered after a while. It was clear that Lovino was out of practice when it came to comforting others because he kept patting him on the back somewhat painfully and murmured something that sounded like "There, there…" Gilbert retreated from the stiff hug, grabbed an orange from the kitchen counter and opened the door to go to the porch. The sun greeted him with warm rays. The floor on this side of the house was made of artistic stone slabs, which made every step painful against his bare feet. Lovino's voice made him stop for a moment.

"Where are you going?"

A shrug, a few steps further, and then Gilbert decided that Lovino didn't deserve to be left without an answer. "For a walk. Don't worry. I'll be back in a few hours. I just have to… think a little."

"At least put some shoes on!"

"It's okay. The pain is a distraction."

It felt good to leave Lovino with this line and walk across the yard to the small road. At the same time, he felt terrible about it. But as usual, he ignored his conscience, chose a random direction at the next crossroads and had soon lost the house from sight.

In the end, he wandered around the area for the entire morning. If the sun hadn't been high on the sky and told him the general time, he wouldn't have been able to guess if he had been walking for five minutes or five hours. His feet hurt terribly, and he could slowly feel new sunburn on his face.

The area was relatively sparse – the thin olive trees didn't offer him much shade from the sun, and everything else was dry grass and rubble. But not far away there were the ruins of an abandoned goat shelter standing out in the grass, and Gilbert climbed over a row of stones to make it there. He scratched his feet and legs at it, but he found a handful of straw that had been left behind and made himself comfortable.

At some point, his stomach began to growl. Gilbert ignored it, just as he had been doing for the past few days.

It was strange. The break-up had struck him much harder than he had been expecting. When he had come here, he hadn't been sure if he could even keep the relationship going – if there even was one. But something had changed over the past few months. Now that his life was so secluded, he had learned to appreciate the few friends he had. He poured his heart into every conversation and no longer wanted to sit at home with a laptop or a video game. He enjoyed talking to other people; it was no longer just politeness or a way to fill an uncomfortable silence. Out here, he had no social responsibilities. He could do whatever he wanted. But that was how he had found out that he needed other people, their friendship, their warmth, their love. And letting someone go hurt twice as much because there was nobody else who could take this person's place, fill the hole in his heart.

For a moment, he kept lying still in the straw and stared at the holes in the rotten wooden roof of the shelter. His thoughts kept circling in his head without taking a proper form. Nevertheless, they didn't stop tormenting him, not letting him sleep and burying him under painful memories and dark visions of future.

It was a new feeling. The old Gilbert wouldn't have become so carried away. The old Gilbert would have wandered through clubs for three days, got himself drunk with alcohol and drugs, would have slept with a different partner every night, and by the third day he wouldn't have known what he was trying to forget. The old Gilbert wouldn't even have let a relationship with a woman get so serious that he was imagining having children with her and getting a beautiful house in the countryside near the city and a brown retriever that slept in his bed until his wife said "Me or the dog!"

He missed the old Gilbert. He wanted nothing more than to get his light-heartedness back, his amazing ability to let nothing get to him. He wanted to close his heart from everything and escape into imaginary worlds. But he couldn't do that here because here he was no longer City-Gilbert; here he was the weak Country-Gilbert who took care of the garden, who wanted a real relationship and who couldn't be happy about the fact that his best friend had a hot woman because it meant he no longer had any time for him.

He remained lying for a few more minutes before forcing himself up and taking the orange out of his pocket to calm down his stomach.

After all this time, he came to a decision. There was only one way to escape this approaching depression.

He had to go back to the city.

* * *

When he stepped inside through the terrace door, it was already a late afternoon because it had taken him a while to find his way back after his directionless walk over the hills.

Lovino came to greet him from the kitchen and threw his hands up in the air when he saw him.

"There you are! I already thought you had turned into ash and been swept away by the wind!" he blabbered, and Gilbert could tell by his behaviour that he had been worried about him.

"I'm not a vampire…" he said lamely while Lovino checked the colour of his skin in the dim light of the house and slapped him weakly when he saw he was just as pale as before. Gilbert sulked as he rubbed his cheek and asked, "Why are you even here? Don't you have any plans with Bella?"

"I cancelled them."

"Oh? Why is that?"

Lovino frowned at him, and Gilbert wasn't really sure what to think about his glare. So, he kept his mouth shut and waited patiently for an answer, which he didn't get until after Lovino had snorted and turned his eyes from him to the vase in the corner.

"I thought it would fair to spend some time with you again. But don't get any stupid thoughts! I just want to make sure you won't get any dumb ideas during your sulking!"

Too late, Gilbert thought, but he didn't say anything. He was somehow touched, even if Lovino's gesture was anything but nicely expressed. Gilbert knew him well enough to know how it was meant.

"Go and put some sunblock on your face. We've got an appointment."

"An appointment?" He really hoped that Lovino wasn't planning to take him to a psychiatrist because no matter how bad he felt, he would have to kick him in the ass for that. But Lovino only kept glaring at him, which automatically made Gilbert's legs move and carry him dutifully to the bathroom to look for his sunblock in the cupboard.

As he stepped back out with greasy skin, Lovino was already standing on the porch and tapping his foot in impatience. He reminded Gilbert a little of a bull that wanted to impale him with his horns, but Lovino only tinkled the car keys and nodded towards the car. Gilbert ogled him sceptically.

"I told you I'm not suicidal!"

"I don't doubt that. You're too vain for that," Lovino said, his eye twitching.

"And why do you think I'd willingly get into a car with you?" Gilbert grinned in triumph as Lovino's mysterious expression turned into the usual grumpy glare. He turned around with a snort and went to the car, seemingly no longer caring if Gilbert was following him or not.

"You want to do something nice for once and…" he muttered as he went, making Gilbert suddenly pay more attention.

Something nice? From Lovino? He couldn't miss that, even if it meant that he had to get inside the death machine. Shrugging his shoulders, he hurried after the Italian and was already seated by the time the other reached the car. Lovino lifted his brows at the sudden change in his behaviour but said nothing as he started the engine and drove to the road.

For a while, they kept following the road that Gilbert had taken earlier that day. But before they reached the goat shelter, Lovino turned right, and during the rest of the journey, they had a wide view of the see in the horizon. Gilbert leaned his cheek against the cool window and stared idly outside. Every now and then, his forehead made painful contact with the glass when Lovino drove over a bigger rock, but the coolness felt nice, especially since the car was so hot because of the sun. His thoughts had once again started circling inside his head. He almost hoped that Lovino would throw a few insults at him to distract him, but it was probably better if he focused on the road. His driving was already dangerous enough.

He was so deep in thought that it took him a few moments to notice that they had stopped. Lovino glanced at him from the corner of his eye. "Are you waiting for me to open the door for you, princess?" he asked as Gilbert sent him a glance back.

"Please! To get that honour, you'd have to be a real prince – with golden armour and a white horse and the whole hullabaloo!"

"Well, at least half of that will come true soon," Lovino said with half a grin and stared meaningfully out the window by Gilbert's side. Gilbert followed his eyes, and a few moments later he was stumbling out of the car with an open mound.

They had arrived at the coast, but the lovely view of the deep blue waves and the pale sand weren't the reason for Gilbert's sudden shock. A little distance away from the beach, at the feet of the cliffs, next to two beautiful stone houses, stood a stable. The sparse spots of grass before the house were surrounded by a fence, and on the field inside was a herd of horses, nibbling on the brown grass and rolling around in dirt. Gilbert took a few, careful steps forwards, and he was soon met with the typical scent of horses and straw that reminded him of his childhood and the beautiful days on his uncle's farm. Behind him, Lovino closed the car door and came to stand by his side.

"I take it that the crazy grin is a positive sign," he commented, and it was only then that Gilbert noticed that his mouth had moved on its own and that he was already starting to get cramps in his cheeks.

"I have to admit – after the scene in the morning, I was doubting your comforting skills, but you clearly know how to make a man happy!" Gilbert laughed as he saw Lovino grow red. "I mean, assuming that I'm reading the situation right and you brought me here to ride on the beach and not just watch the horses eat grass and to feed them sugar."

Lovino only snorted and walked ahead to the stable to hide his red face. "You always act like a kid, but don't worry. I didn't bring you here to enjoy a kiddie birthday. But if you want to keep acting like an idiot, it will be too late to ride out."

Gilbert didn't need to be told twice and stomped after Lovino, keeping his eyes on the horses that had lifted their heads and were staring at them. He kept stumbling over the uneven ground because he wasn't paying attention – he was too distracted by the joy of the upcoming ride. If there was something he needed now, it was a fast gallop. It was as if his body was vibrating, and the sea wind that whipped him in the face was blowing away all of his sad thoughts until there was nothing but happy memories of his childhood, of a time when he had still been innocent and perfect and awesomeness personified, the way he was trying to be now after his teenage years.

Half-way there, they were met by a blonde woman. She was wearing brown riding boots and glasses and greeted Lovino with a loud, stern voice.

"Monique!" Lovino said, simultaneously a greeting and an introduction. "This is Gilbert. Gilbert – Monique Andrieux. The farm here belongs to her, and despite my protests, she has agreed to lend you a horse."

"Opal is going to wear down a lean, pale guy like him," Monique said with a wink, and Gilbert made an outraged face that he couldn't hold back.

"I've ridden wild mustangs!" he claimed. That was maybe a little exaggerated, but he had once held onto a panicked stallion that had taken him through the woods for over three kilometres.

"Sure, cowboy!" Lovino said, rolling his eyes, before turning his attention back to Monique. "We don't want to bother you for long. If he's lying and can't really ride, he'll pay double and will get a real kick in the ass."

"I have boots with spurs. I can take care of the ass-kicking," Monique warned, and Gilbert made use of his angry expression again.

"I can ride!" he said once more. "Probably better than you two combined!"

Monique shot him an unimpressed look and nodded towards the stable. "The horses have been saddled and are ready. You have an hour. Lovino, I trust you to bring my animals back healthy and that's the only reason I let you ride without supervision. Make sure the fidgety fool stays on the saddle, okay?"

Lovino grabbed Gilbert by the shirt and dragged him along before he could react to the insulting description of him, and thankfully the animals had soon distracted him from wanting to defend his honour. His horse – Opal – was a deep brown gelding that whinnied in a friendly way and shook his head when Gilbert stroked him on the nostrils and let him sniff his hand. Lovino's horse seemed to know him already. She snorted as Lovino patted her on the neck and climbed onto the saddle. Unlike in his earlier words about golden armour and a white horses, he was riding a black mare, but Gilbert couldn't deny that he made a good sight.

"You're so slow today!" Lovino complained. "You heard that we only have the horses for an hour. Do you have any idea how dragon-like Monique can be and how many reminder fees she charges even for five minutes? Come on – move it!"

Gilbert simply grinned at him, stroked his horse one more time over the nostrils and climbed onto the saddle as Lovino made a move to ride out without him. They trotted past Monique and towards the thin line of a road that they had driven there. Then Lovino directed them to a trail that led through the crumbling rumble of the coastal countryside to the beach. It had to be a familiar route because the horses automatically broke into faster speed as soon as the ground beneath their hooves turned softer and wider. He could feel their eagerness to gallop, and Gilbert was the last to forbid this joy.

It required only some light pressure against Opal's sides, and he was whooshing past Lovino and his mare with a scream of joy on his lips. The sand swirled under the hard hooves of the horse, spray from the sea and salty wind whipped him in the face, and for a moment he felt more alive than ever before. It didn't take long before Lovino shot past him with a focused expression, clearly not ready to lose the unofficial race.

They kept chasing each other for a few minutes. Every now and then they directed their horses into a curve when they came upon stranded pieces of wood they could jump over, and Gilbert enjoyed forcing Lovino and his mare into the wet waves until Lovino dug his heels into the horse's sides and managed to ride past him. In the end, it was still Gilbert who first jumped over the broken fence, reaching the end of the beach and the finish line. He hooted loudly in the empty area, listening to the crunching of the crumbling ground under Opal's trotting hooves and let himself be buried into the deep red tone with which the setting sun was painting the hilltops. He noticed that he was happy, even though only a few hours earlier, he had been sure never to feel joy again. Not here out in the Italian countryside where there was nobody who could replace Eliza. But when he turned his head and saw Lovino trotting towards him – his face a grimace, showing his displeasure over the lost race – that's when Gilbert realised that he had been wrong.

He would never be able to leave this place. Not for as long as Lovino was here with his explosive temper, the endless attempts to hide his smile, the insults that weren't meant to be friendly but were that anyway and the light touches when he took Gilbert's empty plate from his hands.

It was the first evening he spent with Lovino after breaking up with Eliza, and he hadn't thought of her even once, hadn't been distracted by any depressing thoughts. Instead, he was happy, couldn't stop smiling and when Lovino accused him of cheating during the race and threw an olive at him, and when his tanned skin and the dark eyes and the hair messed up by the wind were glistening in the evening sun, that's when Gilbert knew that –

Oh.

Oh.

Shit.

– that he was doomed.


	8. Chapter 8

Here's the next chapter. There's some dub-con sex in this, but it's not very descriptive. Also, the translation has now reached the original German version, so we have to wait for the author to update before the English version can continue.

**LIFE UNDER THE SUN**

**Chapter 8**

Gilbert was fighting with the poles for the climbing roses when Lovino stepped out to the porch and spent a moment gazing at the hills, as if that was his reason for standing by Gilbert's side and nervously squashing an ant with his foot. Gilbert decided to have mercy on him two minutes later and turned to look at him.

"Normal people use their mouth when they have something to say," he pointed out casually, and Lovino raised his nose in defiance.

"You sure are funny today. Maybe I just wanted to enjoy the fresh air out here."

Gilbert couldn't hold back a grin. He knew Lovino well enough to know that he had trouble sharing good news with others. Even though Gilbert had known him all summer, Lovino still seemed to want to protect his image as a grumpy sourpuss. He decided to blow his cover.

"Do you have some stinky flowers in your garden since you need fresh air in the middle of gardening?"

Lovino threw another murderous glare at him and ground the ant into dust.

"Maybe I do, but I'm starting to think the fresh air isn't worth having to stand your company for any longer," he growled and made a move to turn around when Gilbert grabbed him by the trouser leg and turned his eyes to the sky.

"Spit it out! The way you're acting, it has to be the event of the century. Do you want to offer me a raise? To give me a fitness holiday? A bronze statue of me in the garden?"

Lovino let out a snort of a laughter and shook his head lightly. "That's worth a thought – the crows are no longer afraid of the normal scarecrow."

The outraged expression on Gilbert's face was enough to make Lovino come out with his original news.

"Bella and I want to invite you to a wine tasting event with us. It's in an old castle, not far away from here. Accommodation included." Due to Gilbert's lifted brow, he continued, "I feel bad about leaving you alone all the time when I see her. Not that you need me to babysit you, but I get that there's little to amuse you here when I'm not present. I'd rather take you on a date with us than let you bring a TV here."

Gilbert's other brow joined the other, and Lovino puffed his cheeks defiantly before sighing.

"Alright, fine. I miss spending the evenings with you and have told Bella so much about you that she finally wants to get to know you, and I can't even imagine that such a wine tasting event would be fun without you."

This time Gilbert let it be with the eyebrows. He knew how much effort it had taken for Lovino to come out with the truth, and he would have known that even if he hadn't been standing before him, face red and fidgeting nervously as he avoided meeting his eyes. But Gilbert wasn't shocked just by the fact that Lovino had managed to compliment him without swallowing his own tongue – he could barely believe that someone wanted to spend time with him voluntarily. Happy occasions had been a little limited lately, and now he could barely suppress a wide grin. Nevertheless, he managed to voice a more or less casual answer instead of breaking into the ritual of strange jerking that usually was the sign of his happiness.

"Oh, well, I guess there won't be any more praise coming out of you, even if you're totally underestimating me. And about that bronze statue – we aren't done with that topic yet! After all, I deserve some reward for turning your date into a success and entertaining your girlfriend all by myself!"

Thankfully, Lovino had already stormed back into the house and there was therefore no danger of him changing his mind again. Now he poked his head out the door and said, "She'll pick us up at six tomorrow, so make sure you'll look more or less decent! In other words, not like now. Your whole face is smeared with dirt!" Then the door was closed once more, and Gilbert returned to the plants with more vigour.

* * *

Bella's car was small, but unlike Lovino's, it had room for more than two people. She honked twice until Gilbert and Lovino came out of the house and sauntered over the yard. Gilbert was banished to the backseat with one glance and was planning to sulk there. But it didn't work out like planned because he let out a high scream as he opened the door and was glared at by a very crushed Ned.

"Other side!" Ned growled and pulled the door shut with a heavy bang. Gilbert didn't know what to make of the fact that Ned was coming with them, but it seemed that nobody else was particularly happy about it either. Gilbert could have bet that the Dutch siblings had reached a compromise – Ned could come to keep an eye on his sister – or rather, Lovino – but in return, he had to squeeze his large frame to the back of the car.

The ride would have been spent in tense silence had it not been for the fact that Bella had a lot of experience with covering up Ned's threatening aura with her relaxed ways. Even though Gilbert had decided not to like her anymore, she had wrapped him around her little finger in five minutes as they joked about Lovino's driving style together. As Gilbert stole one look at Lovino in the side mirror, he wasn't wearing the sour, jealous look that he had been expecting – quite the opposite, he seemed to like that he and Bella got along so well. That was much harder for Gilbert to swallow than the expected jealousy. If it was that important for Lovino that his girlfriend and friend got along, it had to mean that the relationship was developing into more than a summer fling. And Gilbert didn't want to think about that. Not after he had had that stupid realisation a few days ago. He almost wished Ned had been allowed to smoke in the car because he could have used a puff from his magical pipe.

* * *

The castle was glittering in the afternoon sun when they finally arrived and left their car on the sandy parking lot. The place was small and probably not as old as it seemed, but together with the countless grapevines and the location on a mighty cliff with the greenish blue sea at its feet, it looked very pretty. They followed a gravel road that was surrounded by colourful flowers and even more grapevines until they reached the castle entrance, which was open. There were more tourists on the courtyard. The atmosphere was somewhat dulled by plastic signs that led to the reception where they picked up their room keys. And that led to the first problem.

"There's no way I'm letting you share a room with this macho!" Ned grumbled as he took both keys and pressed one of them into Gilbert's hand. "He can share with Gilbert and you'll sleep in my room!"

"Excuse me! I'm a grown woman, and I didn't ask you to come and play my caretaker," Bella hissed and shot Lovino, who had stepped back and wasn't saying a word in his defence, an irritated look before she snatched the key from her brother's hand.

"Does that mean we have two double rooms?" Gilbert asked. No matter how well he got along with Ned, he didn't really want to be shoved together with him. After all, he hadn't come here to babysit overprotective brothers. Especially ones who were in a bad mood.

"Yeah, well, yours has two beds separated by a wall, so you don't have to sleep in the same bed with him," Bella told him and sighed as Gilbert's expression remained a little unhappy. After a sideways glance at Lovino, she rolled her eyes and traded the key in Gilbert's hand with the other one. "Alright, fine! But if even one of you thinks that I'm sharing a bed with my brother, you're wrong. I'm taking a single bed – It's up to you how you share the rest. I'm going to drink wine now!" And with her head raised high, she stomped past them.

Ned let out a pleased grunt before leaving to the same direction, which left Gilbert and Lovino alone.

"So... we have a double bed?" Gilbert finally said, a thought that had been swirling in his brain for a while. To his shock, Lovino only shrugged.

"To be honest, I'd rather tolerate a night full of your snoring and slobbering and whatever you do than share a room with Bella and be killed in my sleep by a pissed off Dutchman."

"Hey! I sleep like the Sleeping Beauty!" Gilbert argued, a strange, fluttery feeling growing in his stomach. Sharing a bed with Lovino! That Ned had invited himself over was probably a wonderful twist after all! A relaxed smirk began to nestle on his face, and before Lovino could comment on it, he had grabbed his boss by the elbow and was pulling him towards the stairs that Bella and Ned had already descended.

The stairs ended in a spacious basement lit by torches. There were wooden barrels everywhere, covered by various wine bottles and glasses. Bella had joined a group of tourists that was listening to a man with a moustache tell them interesting facts about different kinds of wine. Ned was standing in a different corner with a glass in hand and ignoring the words deliberately.

"Do you think he'll get more likeable or more aggressive when he's drunk?" Lovino whispered to Gilbert as he made sure to pick a wine barrel in the most distant corner from Ned. Gilbert followed him with a thoughtful look.

"Well, I think it would be the best if we let him smoke his pipe a little. At least we know that it works."

Lovino took a glass for himself and Gilbert without even looking at the label and emptied his with one gulp. Gilbert lifted a brow before shrugging and doing the same. It wasn't as if he had really come to taste wine – it all tasted the same to him.

"Stay on my side, Gilbert! If these siblings start to fight, there's going to be a lot of collateral damage. And I plan to enjoy this evening!" Lovino said with a sigh. "On the other hand, it's my fault for coming to a wine tasting event with three Central Europeans damaged by beer."

"You must be feeling terrible if you're already blaming yourself. Are you sure you aren't sick?" Gilbert placed his free hand on Lovino's forehead and laughed as the other only glared. "Did one of the spiders get you? Hey, maybe you'll develop superpowers!"

"As long as it's a power to keep this murderous Dutchman off my back, I have nothing against it."

"Yeah, well, Spiderman's skills would be better for pulling him closer..." Gilbert made a movement with his hand which was meant to imitate a lasso and spilled half of his wine in the process. "But maybe your spider makes it so that you can release lots of little spiders from inside you – that should keep every even half-witted person away from you."

"First: Eww! And second: Does Ned really seem even half-witted to you?" Lovino said after another glass of wine and strolled to the next barrel. Gilbert filled his empty glass before following him.

"No, you're right. Just keep pouring wine down your throat. I'm sure that's the best way not to provoke the lunatic."

Lovino's expression was sullen, and he muttered angry profanities to himself. "At least you seemed to get along with him last time – if he wants to do something to me, you had better hurry to help! After all, I'm your only source of food."

"You make that sound like I'm a vampire!"

"It's not that farfetched, with your sun allergy and so on."

Gilbert's cackling laughter died in his throat when he suddenly saw Bella approaching, and he brought up a forced grin. Lovino turned around as he saw the change in his expression and didn't seem any happier that she was joining them, but Gilbert knew it was because of her brother.

"Ned is outside because smoking isn't allowed here," she said when she noticed their tense expressions. "I've asked them to deliver all the wine I bought into your room – I don't trust Ned to leave it alone for a whole night." She shot them both a sceptical look. "And you had better keep your hands off it if you know what's good for you!"

To Gilbert's shock, behind the feline smile there was an equally feline bite, and he decided not to cross paths with her. Thankfully, she was smiling normally again and started to share interesting facts from the earlier presentation and forced them to try out various sorts of wine that she had bought. Gilbert had to admit once again that he liked her, and when he eventually realised that she had brought him along because she enjoyed his company and not only as a shield against Ned, all tension left him, and he grew so high-spirited that Lovino couldn't look at him without rolling his eyes and hiding a smile in his glass at the same time, and Bella laughed so loud that the tourists began to shoot irritated looks into their direction.

When the wine tasting staff began to look like they wanted to throw them out, Gilbert said goodbye to the others and went outside for a while to get a few puffs of Ned's pipe. He found the Dutchman down at the beach where he was sitting on white sand and staring out to the sea with cloudy, red eyes. He seemed to have calmed down because his features were relaxed, and he handed the pipe to Gilbert without a complaint.

"You know, Lovino isn't as bad as you think. Your sister could have done worse," Gilbert said, feeling the need to defend the both of them.

Ned only shrugged. "I'm shocked that you'd think that. I mean, you're head over the heels in love with him," Ned grumbled, and Gilbert got a sudden coughing fit.

"I- I'm sorry?" he gasped when he had got some hold of himself, and Ned let out a puff of smoke.

"Have you seen the looks you send his way? You look like a puppy. And a guy who gets looks like that and still brings you on a date with someone else, just to rub it in, can only be an asshole in my books.

Gilbert stared at him in disbelief for a while before untangling his cross-legged position and brushing the sand off his trousers. "You're totally wrong," he said. "I'm not in love with Lovino. And he didn't bring me here to rub anything in but because we're good friends and because he wants to spend some time with me. Don't act like he's such a demon just because he's dating your sister – maybe he's a little grumpy, but he's a good person. Can you say that about yourself?"

Ned kept staring at the sea in silence, and Gilbert turned around with a snort to climb the gravel road back to the castle. The pleasant drunkenness was suddenly as if swept away, and he was planning to drink more before it was too late.

As he was about to step through the castle entrance, his eyes caught a brown mop of hair that he wouldn't have thought twice about had it not been for one lock of hair standing out. As he looked more closely, he recognised Lovino and Bella, embracing tightly, half-hidden behind a rose bush. Gilbert tried to look away as he noticed that they were kissing. But his eyes were as if magnetically drawn to their lips that seemed to be melting into each other, and all he could think about was if they didn't need to get any air.

After what felt like an eternity, he was able to tear his eyes away. He felt as if he was made out of stone, but despite the sudden weight of his legs, he forced himself to go to the courtyard. If he was lucky, he'd find some lonely, dark corner where he could hide and feel ashamed of himself because one look at kissing people could affect him so. Well, it didn't help that he had just broken up with his girlfriend and fallen in love with one of the kissing people, but he was sure that reality wasn't as dramatic as it suddenly felt.

His best friend finally had a chance of romance after all the lonely years – even if it might be short. He was supposed to be happy. And he would be – as soon as he had spent an hour in a dark corner, telling himself how awesome everything was.

He froze in the middle of his steps when he heard his name being called out. It was Bella – she sounded out of breath, which gave him goose pimples in a not very pleasant way, and as he turned his head, he saw her approaching with Lovino's hand in hers. Lovino's head was red as a tomato, and he was doing his best to appear nonchalant, even though he only looked uncomfortable.

"Sorry, Gilbert – do you happen to have the room key with you? They kicked us out of the basement and we wanted to get one of the bottles that I bought. You'll join us, right?"

"Uh... I don't know... I'm getting a little tired," he said, searching his pockets and discovering that he didn't have the key anymore. Shit... He was sure he had put it in his pocket, and it couldn't have fallen out, except just now when he had been sitting cross-legged on the sand... "Oh, damn... I think Ned has the key."

Bella's face turned from happiness to rage within a second, and both Gilbert and Lovino took a step back. In Lovino's case it wasn't a good idea since Bella was still holding his hand, and then he had to take a whole jump forwards when Bella began to drag him through the entrance and screamed that she was sick of her brother ruining the trip for her and that he could go to hell. Lovino shot Gilbert a pleading look as he was pulled along, but Gilbert could only stare after them as Belle chose the stairs that led to the double room. He should have called out after her that it wasn't Ned's fault that the key had fallen out of his pocket, that they could keep the original room arrangements.

But at the same time, an unthinking suspicion kept gnawing at him – his inner desire to see Bella as an evil witch took over slowly, and he began to think she had planned everything from the start. Later, she would once again convince him that she was a nice person with no hidden motives, but in this moment Gilbert only wanted to be angry at her because being angry was better than being disappointed, and that's why he marched through the castle in silent rage until he had no idea where he was.

To his disappointment, the castle didn't have as many dark corners as he had expected, so he resigned himself to looking for his room. He kept asking himself if he was supposed to take the empty bed (because it would be empty) in the two-bed room or really share a bed with Ned. As he went on his way, he hoped fervently that Ned would be so busy pounding the door of the other room that he wouldn't sleep at all.

But Ned was lying on the bed with closed eyes when Gilbert stepped into the room. Somehow, he managed to take the whole double-sized bed alone. Gilbert would have thought he was asleep had the pipe still not been hanging on his lips and the penetrating smell of weed spreading in the room.

When the door closed, Ned opened his eyes – they were even redder than before – and nodded half-heartedly at Gilbert. He still seemed to be able to read expressions correctly because be took the pipe out of his mouth and gave it to Gilbert with the words "Help yourself, brother!"

Gilbert took it thoughtfully. Thought-numbing drugs were exactly what he needed now. Maybe they'd wash away the image of Lovino and Bella, or at least change it so that Bella would be an ugly troll.

The first puff gave him a coughing fit – the smoke scratched his throat terribly and dried his mouth. But he took another puff and then another until he was no longer shying away from climbing onto the bed by Ned's side and staring holes into the ceiling with him.

"We could drink all her wine – what do you say?" Ned suggested at some point. Gilbert didn't really want to get drunk, but his thirst for revenge was strong enough for him to agree and roll out of the bed to rummage for the wine bottles under it.

It soon turned out that it wasn't a good idea. The aromatic wine reminded Gilbert of Lovino, of their shared evenings on the porch back when there had been no Bella yet. Just the two of them, their own world. Their bickering, their laughter, the moments when they both let their guards down, talked about things in their past, about their feelings, only to later pretend that they hadn't done that. The few electric glances and the small touches that made his hair stand up.

Shit...

Why had he insisted for Lovino to adventure with Bella? To satisfy his needs? Fuck that! What was this disgusting making out compared to the special moments that they had shared over the past months? Fine, they weren't exactly "satisfactory" in a certain way, but they were worth much more than what he had with Bella. Whatever it was.

He let the empty wine bottle slide to the floor. He couldn't take it... Smoking pot was better. Smoking pot numbed his feelings instead of encouraging them. He reached out his hand and stole Ned's pipe from his mouth, took a deep inhale and kept the smoke in his throat until he felt like he was choking.

"''s mine!" Ned mumbled with a grumpy expression, not making a move to snatch his pipe back, and Gilbert was drunk and desperate enough to get a really stupid idea.

"Sorry. I didn't want to take all your pot. I'm just borrowing it," he said, finally letting the smoke out.

Ned growled something incomprehensible that sounded like "Borrowing isn't possible." to Gilbert. He muttered a "Sure is!", took another puff and turned himself over so that he was suddenly lying half-way on Ned. Ned's reflexes were too slow to do more than show slight shock before Gilbert pressed their lips together and breathed the smoke in his throat into his mouth. Most of it fizzled out from the corners of their mouths, but Ned didn't complain. He lifted a heavy hand, placed it on Gilbert's waist and helped him to climb on top of him. The rest of the smoke disappeared between dry tongues that played slowly together, and Gilbert didn't waste any time putting the pipe aside and starting to fumble with Ned's trousers.

It took forever to get Ned hard in his state, but eventually Gilbert was lying on his stomach on the bed, stifling his panting into a pillow that smelled of smoke and pretending that it was Lovino who was lying on top of him and pounding him into the mattress with fast thrusts. His fuddled awareness helped, even though Ned wasn't easy to mistake for Lovino, and when the other rolled out of bed and ran to the bathroom to throw up in the middle of things, that still wasn't a reason for Gilbert to stop.

He had never felt as terrible as in this moment as he was lying on the hotel bed with tears in his eyes and listening to the revolting noises in the background while jerking off. It wasn't because of the rhythmic pounding of the alcohol in his head, or the thought of what Lovino and Bella were doing at the moment. Not because he had the feeling he was deceiving Lovino or because the whole situation was so damn pitiful. No, this thorn in his heart had nothing to do with Lovino. Gilbert simply hated himself.

He had managed to start a new life, had finally been happy. Did it really take so little? A short moment of loneliness, and he was beside himself, returned to alcohol, drugs and sex. The worst was that he couldn't help but feel good, feel fantastic. The familiar stimulus that drove out all worries and doubts, lulled him into a fantasy world from which he'd wake up the following morning as if struck to the face, didn't allow for anything else.

But the following morning didn't count, didn't exist, was only an eternity away. Only this and now mattered, and Gilbert was experiencing both the worst and the best moment of his life. As if someone had tied a cord of self-deceit around his heart that was beating louder and stronger than ever before. As he came, he let out a sound that was both a laugh and a sob, and he collapsed forwards, pressed his face into the pillow that soaked up all treacherous wetness, and didn't complain in any way as Ned staggered from the bathroom, climbed on top of him in silence and continued where he had left off.


End file.
